Razzy Plush
by Smoke
Summary: This is a modernday tale about Raziel getting turned into a plushy. It has a little something for everyone: humor, angst, spiritual, romance. Major cuteness. It's not as stupid as it sounds. [Ended]
1. Chapter 01

Disclaimer: I don't own Raziel or anything from the Legacy of Kain games. I also don't own any other popular culture references made in this story. This disclaimer applies to the entire story.  
  
Well, I wanted to make this one funny, but I didn't want to have a "let's make a handful of vampires drunk and set them lose in Nosgoth" type of hilarity. I have a feeling that this has degenerated into a rather heartwarming tale.

* * *

"And now you will see the true enemy," Raziel wheezed. He closed his eyes and gave in to overwhelming pull as the Reaver captured his spirit.   
  
Raziel had expected some brutal agony or mind-wrenching terror. Instead, he felt completely normal. He cautiously opened his eyes, only to be met with the completely unexpected. He saw a softly lit room with white walls. There was a bookcase in the corner, and cabinets containing unfamiliar objects.  
  
"It finally worked," a woman's voice said.  
  
Raziel leaped to his feet and turned to the source of the voice. "Who are you, what is this place?" he demanded.  
  
"My name is Jennifer," the woman said. "I found a way to pull you out of your own world and into mine. This is your new home."  
  
"I have a destiny to complete," Raziel said with conviction.  
  
"It doesn't matter now," Jennifer said. "Let me show you the truth." Jennifer walked over to a cabinet housing a collection of black boxes. While she pressed buttons and flipped switches, the largest box lit with patterns of colored lights. After some moments of this, a miniature version of Raziel appeared on the screen. He recognized the setting as Avernus Cathedral. "This is a video game," Jennifer explained, "Until now, this is the only place that you existed."  
  
Raziel carefully scrutinized the tiny figure on the screen. It stood as if waiting for something, occasionally glancing over its shoulder. Suddenly, it dropped to the ground and inscribed something in the dirt, then stood back up again. "I don't remember just stopping like that," Raziel said at last.  
  
"It's a part of the game," Jennifer said. She demonstrated how to use the controller and then handed it to Raziel.  
  
Raziel used an index claw to move the stick on the controller and watched as his image mimicked those movements. "Free will is an illusion," he sneered, and dropped the controller. "This is your doing, isn't it?" Raziel stood up and brandished his claws.   
  
"Someone else made the game," Jennifer said evenly. "I just brought you into my reality."  
  
"Where is the Reaver?" Raziel demanded, raising his right hand.  
  
"You don't remember?" Jennifer asked, her tone suggesting that she already knew the answer.  
  
Raziel screamed in rage and lunged at Jennifer's throat. He never reached her. Instead, he felt himself falling and shrinking. He landed unceremoniously in a pile of dirty laundry.   
  
"There's something else I need to tell you," Jennifer said.  
  
Raziel cautiously examined himself. He was now only a foot and a half high. His arms seemed be covered in slippery blue cloth. Raziel came to the sickening realization that his arms were made of that blue cloth. He screamed as the truth sunk in. Raziel was now a doll. He lunged again at Jennifer, slashing at her shins.  
  
"Raziel, please calm down while I try to explain," She said. For the first time since Raziel awoke, there was fear in her eyes. Raziel wasn't hurting her; his claws were too soft and flexible to do anything to her skin. Jennifer grabbed the struggling plush in both hands and lifted him up. "This is your real body now. You can't hurt me, even in your demon form. I am not going to let you leave, so you might as well accept your situation."  
  
Raziel let himself go limp. "Am I to exist now as your plaything?"   
  
"That is what you were before," Jennifer said gently. "Now, you are my guest." She set Raziel down on the couch.   
  
Raziel took a calmer inspection of his body. His arms and legs were a bit shorter in relation to his body, but careful stitching still defined some of his muscles. His claws were constructed of a shiny but flexible material, and the wrappings on his forearms were also stitched into place. He felt that his cowl was secured in a similar manner, but he could reach into it from the bottom. He still had a void where his chin should be, but there was something hard embedded in his chest. He poked at it and hiccupped, "Spin on this, Moebius." Raziel gasped in shock because even though it was his voice, he had not intended to say it. He poked at himself several more times, still getting the same response. The phrase did not even make any sense. "What is the meaning of this?" Raziel demanded.  
  
Jennifer rolled her eyes in embarrassment. "I made that body of yours long before I discovered that I could pull you into it. I included a sound box because I thought it would be neat." She looked down at her irritated guest. "I could take it out, if you want."  
  
"I think that would be wise," Raziel growled.  
  
Raziel struggled to remain calm while Jennifer worked on him. Fortunately, it didn't hurt, but it was very odd to feel a gaping hole in his back. Jennifer removed the small device and teased Raziel's stuffing back into place. She re-stitched the seam in his back and tugged his scarf back down.  
  
Raziel squirmed as he sat up. "Now, restore me to the way I was when I woke up."  
  
"Do it yourself," remarked Jennifer, "You have control over it."  
  
Raziel closed his eyes and willed the transformation to happen. He found that it was easier than using portals. Once again at eye level with his captor, Raziel sighed. "Tell me more about this world," he said wearily.


	2. Chapter 02

Jennifer spent a few hours explaining most of the things she could think of, then decided that it would be a good idea to let Raziel see things for himself. He had sensibly taken Jennifer's advice on walking around as a demon, so she carried him under one arm. Everything was new to him. Overwhelmed, he begged her to take him back to the safety of the apartment.   
  
Raziel adapted readily enough to his new life. It was strange at first to be trapped in the physical realm, and he didn't need to feed on souls anymore. He found that his new nature as a plushy gave him the ability to survive on nothing more than the occasional sacrifice of a cookie and some imaginary tea.   
  
After that first dizzying trip into the outside world, Raziel was reluctant to leave the apartment again. Jennifer had shown him how the television worked, and he was content enough to sit and watch passively. Raziel sunk into the pervasive worlds of other people's stories. He spent much of his time reading or playing video games. Jennifer recognized his dedication as a way to escape his own reality.  
  
The problem with this, Jennifer realized, was that Raziel was sometimes forsaking the real world. She recounted a time when she had seen Raziel begin to play 'Jak and Daxter.'   
  
Raziel gasped in horror as the plucky young sidekick was knocked into the pool of ooze. He watched in mute fascination as the character was ejected from the pool as some sort of weasel. Jennifer struggled not to giggle as she noticed Raziel's reaction to the creature's hysterics. It was supposed to be funny, but she could see that Raziel did not feel that way. His claws gouged light scratches into the controller. She suspected that the situation had hit just a little too close to home.  
  
Several days later, she found that Raziel had played to the final section of the game. He was swaying back and forth, idly humming to the music as he played. Obviously, he was completely entranced by the game. Jennifer wondered if such behavior was healthy, even for someone who had been through Raziel's trauma.  
  
Another time, she had awoken to find that Raziel had been watching cartoons the entire night. She walked in to find him singing along to the 'Beany and Cecil' theme song. She saw that he enjoyed the slightly nonsensical themes of those old stories. Jennifer had noticed earlier that Raziel had abandoned reading Lovecraft stories.  
  
Fearing a shift in his personality, Jennifer put her foot down. "Come on, Raziel, you're going to get some fresh air and sunshine."  
  
Once again, Raziel found himself seeing the world from the eyes of a doll. He draped limply over her shoulder, strapped to her backpack. "You do realize that I am incapable of breathing this fresh air or feeling the sunshine," Raziel reminded Jennifer.  
  
"You needed to get out of the house," Jennifer muttered quietly, afraid that someone would hear her talking to her plushy.  
  
"Wait, do you see that?" Raziel asked, squirming.  
  
"Be still," Jennifer warned. "What do you see?"  
  
"That girl is wearing my clan symbol," Raziel said.  
  
"I wear your clan symbol too sometimes," Jennifer said, noticing the girl. "I wonder what would happen if you snuck up on her," she added, feeling malicious.  
  
After an hour of careful maneuvering, the pair finally followed the girl to a fairly secluded spot. Raziel dropped to the ground and assumed his true form. Jennifer hung back as he approached the strange girl. The girl noticed Raziel and stood perfectly still for a moment. Suddenly, she shrieked, "RAZZY!" and wrapped her arms around his waist.  
  
Raziel cringed in surprise and fought her off with amazing restraint. Despite her protests, he started to run away. Much to his horror, the girl managed to match his speed. It took the better part of the day to lose her. When he finally came back to Jennifer, she just laughed at him. Raziel glared at her fiercely. She touched the bridge of her nose with one finger and immediately stopped giggling, but her eyes still shone with hidden laughter. A distant cry of "RAZIEL!" told him that he hadn't lost his pursuer. He immediately reverted to plushy form and Jennifer shoved him into her backpack.  
  
"What was with her?" Raziel asked, deeply troubled by this incident.  
  
"I'm not sure," Jennifer said, "but I do know that there are others just like her wandering around."  
  
Raziel refused to come out of Jennifer's backpack during the long bus ride home. A steady stream of soft blips from the backpack told Jennifer that Raziel was amusing himself with her electronic block puzzle. She decided that yes, indeed, her little friend was still depraved.  
  
Once they got back to Jennifer's apartment, Raziel slowly crawled out of her backpack and grew to his full height. "I want the ability to walk around this world," he said. "I feel so helpless as a doll."  
  
"What would you have me do?" Jennifer asked.  
  
"Would it be so difficult for you to make me look human?" Raziel asked.  
  
Jennifer gently laid a hand across his back. Raziel felt her grab his tabard and swiftly pluck it away. He screamed in outrage.   
  
"You think of yourself as a ghoul," Jennifer said. "That is why you now appear like this."   
  
Raziel twitched in pain. "Why does it hurt?"  
  
"Because you think of this as part of yourself," she said, indicating the ragged banner in her hand. She handed it back to Raziel.  
  
He took the cloth and draped it back around his face. "That was not necessary," Raziel accused.  
  
"Call it an object lesson," Jennifer said. "You don't remember this, but when I first pulled you out of the game you looked much different. I had to strip thousands of years from your memory to get you to assume this form. Before, you would only turn into that glowing sword."  
  
Raziel stared at Jennifer. She couldn't quite read the expression in his eyes.  
  
"Check out these pictures," Jennifer said, turning to the computer. She called up an image of herself, holding the Wraith Blade. Her eyes were squinted against its light, and she held it as if it were heavy.  
  
"I don't see how that was possible." Raziel said.  
  
Jennifer shrugged, "I don't either. Strictly speaking, none of this is possible."  
  
"So it is possible to give me another form, return me to a way I once was," Raziel said.   
  
"I don't want to remove any more memories from you, Raziel. The first thing you would lose is your memories of your life here. Besides, I took you back to when your personality was at its best," Jennifer said, standing up and lightly flicking Raziel's hair away from his eyes.  
  
Raziel shrank from the touch and thought back to the shock of seeing his human self for the first time. He did not see the value in letting that bastard live again. Raziel realized that he couldn't remember much of his life as a vampire, either. Raziel knew what his brothers had looked like, but he couldn't recall a single face from his clan. In the latter case, he realized that none of his clan had truly existed, as his world wasn't real.  
  
Raziel shook himself from his reverie and looked at Jennifer's concerned expression. "I don't enjoy looking like this," he said, "and I don't enjoy knowing that I am nothing more than a character from some fantasy world."  
  
"You can change your appearance, all you need to do is identify with the form you desire." Jennifer said.  
  
"And then what?" Raziel demanded. "I'm still a fictional character. There's nothing for me."   
  
"You can make a life for yourself here, Raziel. It doesn't matter who you were or where you came from. What matters now is your decisions now that you're here," Jennifer said. 


	3. Chapter 03

Raziel turned away from Jennifer and wandered down the hallway into the bathroom. He loosened his cowl and let it drop around his shoulders. The mirror cast Raziel's demonic features back at him. He ran a claw down his cheek, tracing the remains of his features. Raziel decided to reform his jaw. Perhaps with that in place, the rest would follow.  
  
Raziel spent most of the night sitting in front of the mirror, trying unsuccessfully to change his appearance. "This is pointless," he spat at his reflection. He considered his apparent failure. "I need to identify with the form I desire," he muttered, remembering Jennifer's words. He wandered back into the living room and called up the picture of Jennifer holding him as the sword. He could not recall how that must have felt, being shaped like a sword. Raziel lingered on the thought. "I need to feel what I want to become."  
  
Raziel wandered into Jennifer's bedroom and considered her sleeping form. He did not feel any qualms about intruding on her rest like this; Jennifer was never modest around him, and she was a heavy sleeper. He lightly traced the contours of her face, just as he had done to his own only hours before. He let his claws wander down her shoulder to her arms. He cradled her hand in his. Her flesh was warm and soft. Raziel studied her with eyes and claws, memorizing the important details.  
  
Raziel quietly left Jennifer's bedroom and wandered back into the bathroom. He recalled the warmth of her skin, the stirrings of breath. Raziel saw a flash of his former human self. He wasn't sure if he had actually seen his face change in the mirror, or the memory of that moment when he had impaled the bastard.   
  
"This is will not do," Raziel said. He realized that he could more easily make himself anew than wear that former identity. "I can make a new life for myself."  
  
Jennifer awoke the next morning. She was concerned about Raziel. He had seemed so troubled, but Jennifer felt that he had needed to be left to his own thoughts. She hoped that Raziel had decided to drop back into the distractions that he was so fond of.  
  
Jennifer walked into the living room and stared. There was a man sitting on the couch, quietly contemplating his hands. He was naked, but he had a rumpled piece of cloth draped across his lap, Raziel's clan banner.  
  
"I did it, Jennifer." Raziel smiled.  
  
Jennifer walked over to Raziel and laid her hand on his shoulder. His flesh was cool to her touch, but not unnaturally so. She inspected his face. His grin disappeared, something dark passed behind his fawn-brown eyes.   
  
Jennifer withdrew her hand and questioned, "What's wrong, Raziel?"  
  
"Do you like the way I look now?" Raziel asked in a dry whisper.  
  
"Of course," Jennifer assured him. She realized that she had accidentally awakened a shadow of his past by touching him like that. Kain too had touched him curiously, right before ripping off his wings. His question had been one of fear.  
  
Jennifer knelt on the floor before Raziel, gazing at him once again. His face was young and flawless, framed by long silken hair. His body was lean and well muscled, and his skin was not quite pale. Jennifer could have sworn she saw small fangs in Raziel's mouth when he grinned, but only a dentist would have been disturbed by their appearance. Raziel still held traces of his vampire nature.  
  
"You're gorgeous," Jennifer sighed happily, "but you're going to need clothes if you're going to walk around. That is, if you still had that in mind," she added, grinning.  
  
Raziel was taken aback by her words. "I believe clothes are an order," he whispered uncomfortably. 


	4. Chapter 04 New Life

Smoke: First off, I'd like to thank everyone for their complements. (Smoke points to a chittering Sluagh in the corner.) My self-esteem loved them.  
  
Smoke's self-esteem Sluagh: Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah.  
  
Smoke: Don't be offended that my self-esteem is avataring as a Sluagh, it has my reasons.

* * *

Jennifer grabbed his wrist and dragged Raziel to the bedroom. He accidentally dropped his tabard, but it disappeared as soon as he gave up on being able to grab it. Jennifer politely kept her eyes averted from Raziel as she dug in her closet for something that he could wear.   
  
Fortunately, Jennifer owned a few outfits that could be described as masculine, and soon Raziel was dressed in a pair of loose khaki slacks and a white t-shirt. He slipped his feet into Jennifer's steel-toed boots and grabbed a pair of sunglasses.  
  
The two wandered down the street. Raziel took a deep breath, his first real one in forever. "This is amazing," he said, the pure joy of being alive again lifting his spirits. Jennifer chuckled as Raziel spread his arms to the sunlight. She had never seen him so happy.   
  
After a few hours, the pair rested on a park bench, watching traffic. Jennifer convinced Raziel to try a piece of chocolate.   
  
"That's horrible!" Raziel said, his mouth puckering. He struggled as he tried not to drool.   
  
Jennifer took a cautious bite from the candy bar. It was rich. She let her tongue linger over the taste. "This is good chocolate," she said. "Perhaps you would prefer blood?"  
  
"Don't tempt me," Raziel said, only half offended. Now that he had a body again, Raziel could more clearly remember his bloodthirsty days as a vampire. He could also remember his arrogance and self-righteousness as he helped Kain conquer the human cattle…  
  
He shook his head to clear it. "I think I need to lie down," he said.   
  
When they got back to the apartment, Raziel stripped off his boots. He transformed back into his wraith form, the clothing hanging loosely off his scarecrow body. He flopped down on the couch.   
  
"What's wrong, Raziel?" Jennifer asked, sitting down beside him and wrapping her arm around his shoulders.  
  
"I'm not sure," Raziel said. "I just feel so uncomfortable in this world. I don't belong here."  
  
"If you don't belong here, then you don't belong anywhere, Raziel." Jennifer said.  
  
Raziel refused to speak. He sat contemplating, his body motionless. After a while, Jennifer retreated to the kitchen to cook her dinner. Raziel let his transformations drop completely, reverting to his true form as a stuffed toy. He contemplated the line of stitching running down his claws.  
  
He remembered that he was the spirit of the Reaver. It was not a strange idea to him, to have an existence that he couldn't remember. What was supposed to happen to him? He remembered using the blade to heal Kain. If he had not been pulled out of the game, would he have finally known oblivion?  
  
He struggled out of the clothing he had been wearing, now in a rumpled pile around him. If it was oblivion that had awaited him, it could wait. Raziel concentrated on his human form. This time, he imagined the feeling of clothing on his body.   
  
When Jennifer wandered back into the room, Raziel was wearing a pair of perfectly cut black pants and a stylish gray shirt.   
  
"Wow," she breathed.   
  
Raziel gently took Jennifer by the arm and led her to the couch. "I find that I'm having trouble with…" Raziel faltered.   
  
Jennifer leaned her head against his shoulder. "Everything will be okay," she soothed. "You just need to sit back and watch it happen."  
  
Jennifer lightly stroked her fingers through Raziel's hair. He sat back and enjoyed the sensation of her touching him, and the warmth of her body. He had missed being able to truly feel. The blue corpse he had been left with wasn't able to feel much of anything. There had been moments of pain, but all his sensations had been dulled since that burning agony of the abyss.  
  
Raziel awoke with a start. He remembered falling asleep in Jennifer's arms. Real sleep, Raziel couldn't remember the last time he had done that. He sat up on the couch and rubbed his hand over his face. Raziel paused and reflected on how good it felt to do that.   
  
Jennifer set a cup of coffee in front of him. Raziel took it and sipped cautiously, remembering the incident with the chocolate. Raziel was pleasantly surprised by how good the coffee tasted. He savored the warmth of it traveling down his throat.  
  
"What do you want to do today?" Jennifer asked. 


	5. Chapter 05 The Dragon

Over the next few days, Raziel spent most of his time enjoying the freedom of his new existence. He quickly became bored with the novelty of eating; it still was not necessary to his survival. He did, however continue his great love of coffee.   
  
In a caffeine-induced fit of restlessness, Raziel decided to go digging through Jennifer's closet. He wasn't looking for anything specific, he just was acting on his normal curiosity.  
  
"Hello there," a voice said.  
  
Raziel suddenly noticed a stuffed dragon lying on the floor of the closet. It was made of metallic turquoise cloth, and it's vinyl claws were sewn in exactly the same way as Raziel's. It regarded him with bright orange eyes, but it did not move.  
  
"Who are you?" Raziel asked in surprise.   
  
"Brightflame," the dragon remarked, chuckling halfheartedly.   
  
Raziel brushed some dust from the dragon's back and moved to pick it up.  
  
"Leave me be, I am weary," she said.  
  
"How did you get here?" Raziel asked, lifting the dragon despite its protests. He wrapped his arms around Brightflame's body; she was much larger than Raziel was in his plushy form. He let her head rest on his shoulder. One of her back claws lay against his hip, and her tail snaked down to his knees. Her wings flopped open, thin nylon supported on flexible plastic 'bones'.   
  
"I have always been here," Brightflame sighed, relenting to Raziel's embrace.   
  
Raziel sat down on the bed, but was reluctant to release his hold on the small dragon. "Don't you remember where you came from?"  
  
"I came directly from Jennifer's imagination. Unlike you, I have no spirit, except for what I am given." With a massive effort, Brightflame drew her head back so she could look Raziel in the eyes. "I cannot live, and so I sleep." She lowered her head to Raziel's chest, too exhausted to hold it up any longer.  
  
Raziel held the sleeping dragon, lightly stroking its back. He wondered why this creature tolerated being abandoned for so long. Raziel wondered if someday he would be abandoned as well.  
  
Jennifer arrived home from work. She noticed Brightflame in Raziel's arms, but said nothing.  
  
"Why was she in the closet?" Raziel asked, laying the dragon on the bed in a comfortable position.  
  
Jennifer sighed sadly. "Brightflame was upset because she thought that she had to be something that she's not. She considers herself a failure."  
  
"Is she?" Raziel asked.  
  
"No," Jennifer said, stroking the dragon's head. "She is still my most trusted confidant."  
  
"What about the dust?" Raziel questioned. "How long have you kept her there?"  
  
"I am there when she needs me," Brightflame said, her tones smug. "Time means nothing to me when I am sleeping."  
  
"She lives in the closet so that she can rest comfortably until I need her," Jennifer said. "It's better this way."  
  
"You are not like me," Brightflame murmured before drifting back into sleep.  
  
"Are you afraid that I'll get tired of you, Raziel?" Jennifer asked. "Because I won't. You are a person, with feelings. I would never do that to you."  
  
Raziel gazed with uncertainty at Jennifer. He did not feel any bitterness from the stuffed dragon. Perhaps Jennifer was telling him the truth. Raziel decided that he would believe her for now, but he would also shield his heart in case she did not keep her word. 


	6. Chapter 06 The Party

Thank you to everyone who is patiently awaiting the next chapter. I almost uploaded it at the same time as chapter five, but I realized that I had continued on past a difficult group of paragraphs, leaving a gaping hole in the story. I'm still having problems with that gap. I've got an idea of what is supposed to happen, but I can't seem to write it. Therefore, I'm putting it up anyway, so turn away if you're disturbed by gaping holes. I do intend to re-upload it the very hour that I get it fixed.

* * *

"There's a party tonight," Jennifer volunteered. "Are you up for it?"  
  
Raziel shook himself out of his mood. "Of course," he said, interested in this newest distraction.  
  
Jennifer and Raziel walked past the line of cars that were already parked outside the house that the party was at. People were already starting to get drunk and act in inappropriate ways. Raziel paused for a moment, considering the situation.  
  
(A/N This is the hole that will not be filled.)  
  
Jennifer glanced through her drunken haze at Raziel. He was grinning wildly as he listened to another drunk ramble on about some story or joke. Jennifer was a bit too far-gone to really care. Then she noticed something odd about Raziel. The realization snapped her into instant sobriety.   
  
Raziel had shifted back into his wraith form. His eyes were narrowed in an expression of drunken bliss. He flickered, and suddenly he appeared as his handsome self again. Jennifer grabbed his arm and muttered some excuse to the others as she dragged the drunken Raziel away.   
  
They staggered down the street. "That was a lovely party," Raziel remarked, brushing away some stray hair with one claw.   
  
"Yes it was," Jennifer said, trying to clear her head.  
  
Raziel suddenly stopped. "Where are my pants?" he asked.  
  
Jennifer stared at him. She could not think of a sane answer.  
  
Raziel sat down on the curb. He held up one claw as if preparing to make some profound statement, and then belched.  
  
Jennifer stared at Raziel in horror. She could deal with him speaking without a mouth, but her mind reeled with the sheer impossibility of him being able to belch. She wanted to scream at him, 'how did you do that?' but her mouth would not obey her brain's command. Raziel calmly gazed up at her and blinked.  
  
Jennifer could not take it anymore. She mastered her concentration and forced Raziel to turn into the plushy. She then picked him up and carried him home.  
  
Raziel awoke and wondered why he had been sleeping in doll form. He shifted to human and immediately gritted his teeth in pain. He had never wondered what a hangover felt like, but now he didn't have to. Raziel shifted again to his hated blue carcass and relaxed in relief. A shadow of the pain sat behind his eyes, but it was only a reminder. He could ignore it now.   
  
Raziel wandered into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. He stared at it in frustration.  
  
Jennifer was standing in the door, holding her head but waiting patiently for Raziel to get out of her way. She could sense that he was grumpy.  
  
"What happened last night?" Raziel asked.  
  
"You got drunk at the party," Jennifer said.  
  
"Did I?" Raziel asked uncertainly. "I don't remember anything."  
  
"You were really drunk," Jennifer pointed out. "Forgetting is what alcohol is for. That and making a fool of yourself."  
  
"I didn't, did I?" Raziel asked, his eyes flashing with worry.  
  
"You slipped into wraith form, but it was dark and everyone else was so drunk that they didn't notice." Jennifer sighed.  
  
Raziel folded his claws together and stared at them. "Perhaps I should take this as a lesson," he said.  
  
"Don't give it up completely," Jennifer said, pursing her lips into a smug smile. "You make a strange drunk."  
  
Raziel wandered into the bedroom. The shades were already drawn, so the room was cool and dark. He flopped down on the bed, wondering if his mood would improve after he had rested another couple of hours.  
  
"What's bothering you, Raziel?" Brightflame asked.  
  
Raziel rolled his head back so he could look at the dragon. She stared back at him. After several minutes of this, Raziel finally blinked. He shifted to his plush form and stumbled over the blankets to sit against Brightflame's side. "I have a headache, that's all," Raziel finally said. 


	7. Chapter 07 Encounter

That evening, Raziel trudged out of the bedroom. He felt groggy from just lying around all day. He shifted to his human form and gulped down some cold coffee. His head still hurt a little, but it wasn't anything that he couldn't ignore. Raziel stared out the window at the slowly fading sunlight.  
  
"It promises to be a lovely night," Raziel said. "Is there a place we could go to enjoy it?"  
  
"I have just the place," Jennifer said, glad that Raziel's mood had lifted.  
  
Jennifer and Raziel strolled along the banks of the town's small lake. It was a pleasant night, but the park was deserted. The stars were just beginning to show faintly in the sky.  
  
"Raziel, I'm sorry about last night," Jennifer said.  
  
"Don't be," Raziel answered coolly. "I was not quite ignorant of what alcohol could do to a person. I must have become overconfident."  
  
Jennifer smiled at him. Suddenly, Raziel froze in his tracks. "Something's wrong," he murmured.  
  
Ahead of them on the path stood a man in a black trench coat. He slowly turned. "I smell a vampire," he purred.  
  
Jennifer recognized that voice, those arrogant tones. It couldn't be. She stared at the man walking towards them.  
  
"Kain," Raziel gasped.  
  
"You know my name, stranger?" Kain asked, raising an elegant eyebrow.  
  
Raziel shifted into his demon form. "Do you recognize me now?" he growled.  
  
Kain grimaced in revulsion. "No, I'm sure I would've been able to remember something as hideous as you."  
  
Raziel stiffened in shock.  
  
"Now, unless you can direct me to the Cabal, I must be going," Kain said, turning to walk away.  
  
Raziel grabbed Kain's shoulder. Jennifer wasn't sure what happened next. She followed her instincts and ran to a safe distance. She had the impression that the two vampires were fighting. Jennifer ducked as Raziel was hurled over her head.  
  
"That ungrateful bastard!" Raziel yelled.  
  
"He doesn't remember," Jennifer said gently.  
  
"Obviously!" Raziel screamed in fury.  
  
"No," Jennifer said, trying to calm Raziel. Didn't he look young to you? He was talking about trying to find the Cabal. I don't think he was more than a couple centuries old."  
  
Raziel stared bitterly at Jennifer.  
  
"He doesn't remember because it hasn't happened yet." Jennifer said gently.  
  
Raziel squeezed his eyes shut in misery. He sat perfectly motionless for a moment. Finally, he spoke. "Jennifer... Why were you standing in the lake?"  
  
Jennifer uncomfortably kicked at the knee-deep water. "Well, I know the guy never got over that particular weakness, so I'd be safe out here and..." she glanced at Raziel, " I didn't want to be a liability."  
  
"You didn't think I could handle him," Raziel accused.  
  
"Well, he did toss you pretty good," Jennifer said impassively.   
  
Jennifer dragged Raziel to his feet. He grumbled in irritation as the water streamed out of his scarf. When they got back to shore, Kain was gone. Jennifer tried to wring the water out of her pant leg. She envied Raziel; his clothes were perfectly dry.   
  
"What is he doing here?" Raziel asked.  
  
"I don't know. It's like someone pulled him out of Blood Omen 2, but didn't explain things to him. He's obviously a little confused." Jennifer said.  
  
"How do I know that it wasn't you?" Raziel asked.  
  
"Because I wouldn't have taken him from that game," Jennifer said. "The guy was a bloodthirsty maniac." Jennifer suddenly shook with cold dread.   
  
Raziel frowned with grim determination. "I've got to find him."   
  
Raziel quickly took Jennifer back home. He glanced around her apartment, trying to calculate Kain's powers, and knowing that this place was not truly safe. "I don't remember him telling any tales of the Cabal," Raziel said.   
  
"They say that it happened because of the paradoxes," Jennifer said. "He wouldn't have had time to tell you much about it."  
  
"Don't open the door for anyone," Raziel said, "We'll discuss this later."  
  
Raziel spent the night running through the town, searching for some sign of Kain. He was almost relieved that there was none, as it would have probably taken the form of a bloodless body. Raziel glanced at the first pink rays of the sun rising. Kain was probably old enough to survive the sunlight, but Raziel doubted that he would still be out. 


	8. Chapter 08

Fallen Raziel: Why did you let Kain into this story? It was supposed to be about me.  
  
Smoke: Stop resisting me, Raziel. I'm having enough trouble controlling this story.  
  
Uber Kain: You're slipping badly.  
  
Smoke: Stop it, Kain.  
  
Raziel: You're the author, you're supposed to be making everything happen.  
  
Smoke: I'm not making so much as steering, but if you don't cooperate I'll go into the scenario where you remember what it was like inside the sword.  
  
Kain: That sounds like a fun plan.  
  
Smoke: You wouldn't like it, Kain.

* * *

Raziel returned to Jennifer's apartment. He was glad that he had remembered to grab the key on his way out. He let himself in quietly and crept into the bedroom to check on Jennifer.   
  
"She finally fell asleep an hour ago," Brightflame said.   
  
Raziel nodded to the dragon, indicating that he would not wake her.   
  
He wandered back into the living room. Raziel remembered Jennifer mentioning Blood Omen 2. He lifted the box off the shelf and peered at it. Yes, the picture on the front bore more of a resemblance to the Kain he had seen last night.   
  
Raziel could not think of any better ideas for the moment, perhaps the game would provide some clues to Kain's current state of mind. Raziel hesitated. He had not tried to play his own games, the idea just felt too weird. He shrugged. Kain didn't remember him, so obviously he wasn't in this one.   
  
Raziel flinched at the opening movie showing Kain prominently bearing the Reaver. "Of course," he muttered. Raziel sighed as he turned off the PS2.   
  
"Do you want to know the story?" Jennifer asked him.  
  
"I didn't find him," Raziel said.  
  
"I've been thinking about it all night. Whoever brought Kain out of the game probably did it the same way that I did with you." Jennifer said. "With any luck, he won't feel the need to feed off of everybody he can reach."  
  
"I know I never bothered to ask, but how did you manage to pull me out of the game?" Raziel asked.  
  
"I don't quite remember. It sounds strange, I know," Jennifer said, sitting down next to Raziel. "I could do it again if I needed to, but I can't describe how it happened."  
  
"I find that difficult to believe," Raziel said.  
  
"Do you understand how you talk?" Jennifer asked.  
  
Raziel quickly changed the subject. "Tell me why Kain is looking for the Cabal," he said, indicating the box for Blood Omen 2.  
  
Jennifer took a moment to gather her thoughts. "Some time after the collapse of the pillars, Kain was defeated in battle. Everyone thought he was dead, but he was unconscious for two hundred years. He woke up weak and weaponless. A vampire named Uma was leading him to the Cabal when they got separated."  
  
"He didn't seem weak to me," Raziel said, referring to his unexpected bath.  
  
"It's probably because neither of you knew that you were supposed to be much stronger than him," Jennifer said, grasping at straws.  
  
"That doesn't make sense," Raziel said.  
  
"You were holding back without realizing it," Jennifer said. "Know that you are much stronger than he is, and you'll probably be able to pin him with one arm."  
  
"Then what will we do with him?" Raziel asked.  
  
"That decision lies with Kain," Jennifer said. "Whatever happens here will have no effect on the games. Are you willing to destroy him if need be?"  
  
"There's only one weapon that can kill him," Raziel reminded her angrily.  
  
"If he refuses to cooperate, I can get it," Jennifer said tersely. She sighed and said in a calmer voice. "I'm hoping that it doesn't come to that."  
  
"I'll look for him again tonight," Raziel said.  
  
"Don't leave without me Raziel," Jennifer threatened.  
  
"What makes you think that you can stop me?" Raziel asked angrily.  
  
"This." Jennifer forced Raziel to turn into the plushy. He strained his will, but found that he couldn't change himself back. "I'm sorry, Raziel, but I need to come with you." Jennifer went back to bed. She knew she would need her rest.  
  
Raziel sulked in the living room. He fumed at the indignity, the lack of trust, everything. He admitted that his last comment had earned him this. He let his mind slip into plushy hibernation. There was nothing to do now but wait.


	9. Chapter 09

"What do you think you can do against Kain?" Raziel asked in irritation.   
  
"I'm not sure yet," Jennifer said, pinching the bridge of her nose. She had spent most of the day trying to figure out if she would be able to use her powers on Kain. "My instincts tell me that I'll know what to do when I need to do it."  
  
"That does not inspire confidence," Raziel growled.   
  
Jennifer sighed. "It's almost sunset. Let me get my coat, then we can go looking for him."  
  
Raziel leaped off the couch, cursing his lack of agility in plush form. Suddenly, a feeling of dread stole over him. He rushed into the bedroom.   
  
Kain was standing in the middle of the room. He had an unconscious Jennifer cradled in his arms. "I'll have to deal with that demon of yours later," Kain muttered as he jumped out the window, failing to notice Raziel's small plush form.  
  
"Jennifer, no!" Raziel yelled as he tried in vain to resume his normal form. He scrambled up onto the bed; he couldn't even reach the window like this. Raziel collapsed in frustration as he realized he was trapped.  
  
"Don't give up," Brightflame said.  
  
"I am still bound in this form," Raziel said, holding the dragon's head so he could look her in the eye. "I am powerless."  
  
"Lend me your strength, little one." Brightflame said.  
  
Raziel felt part of his energy drain away. He locked his arms around the dragon's neck as she slowly stood on shaky legs. Brightflame spread her wings and leapt out the window. Raziel felt a rush of exhilaration as Brightflame flew through the air. He felt a slight pang of jealousy at her intact wings, but it was tempered by sadness as well. Raziel could feel the dragon's exhaustion already. This would probably be her only flight.  
  
The pair easily caught up with Kain. Brightflame cupped her wings and dove straight at his face. Brightflame tried ineffectively to gouge Kain's eyes with her soft claws. Kain dropped Jennifer in surprise. She woke up when she hit the ground.  
  
"Unbind me woman!" Raziel cried as he lost his grip and fell.  
  
Kain tore the stuffed dragon away from his face with a sickening ripping sound. He stared in horror as he saw Raziel transform. Kain tossed the dragon aside and grabbed Jennifer. "I don't know what you are, but I expect that you care for her life."  
  
"Let her go, Kain," Raziel threatened.  
  
Kain's pale features distorted as he sneered, "You dare to command me?"  
  
"Just do it, Kain!" Raziel shouted.  
  
Kain lowered his mouth to Jennifer's neck. She winced as his fangs pierced her skin. Raziel leaped onto Kain, knocking Jennifer out of the way. The two vampires fought, punching and clawing at each other. Raziel managed to wrestle Kain to the ground, but had to struggle to keep him there. Kain roared in fury and managed to grab onto Raziel's drape. His eyes widened in shock as he saw the gaping hole that was Raziel's lower face.  
  
"Stop," Jennifer commanded. She stood in the street, one hand was firmly clasped on her bleeding neck, and the other was holding the injured Brightflame. Her eyes blazed with fury and concentration.  
  
To Raziel's surprise, Kain slowly let go of his cowl. He struggled weakly for a moment, but then lay against the pavement in surrender. Jennifer slowly walked towards the two vampires. She reached out with her bloodstained hand. Kain groaned in pain as her clutched his head.  
  
"What are you doing to him?" Raziel whispered.  
  
Suddenly, Kain opened his eyes. "Raziel?" He grasped Raziel's shoulders in bewilderment. "How is this possible? You sacrificed yourself to the Reaver."  
  
Raziel shrugged Kain's hands off his shoulders and stood up. He straitened his cowl in disgust and glanced at Jennifer.  
  
She was sitting on the pavement, her hand once again pressed to the gently oozing wound. "I pushed his memories forward. Once he took my blood, he became bound to me. Don't ask me why that is."  
  
Kain stood slowly. "How did I get here?"  
  
"We were hoping that you would know," Raziel said.  
  
"There was a man. He told me to call him Elizavere, but that's impossible." Kain grinned smugly, "I had been able to kill Elizavere."  
  
"You're in a world where we only exist as stories," Raziel said as he helped Jennifer to her feet. "Jennifer was the one who summoned me."  
  
Kain studied his claws as he digested this information. He paused as he noticed that he had five fingers. "What is the meaning of this?" he asked.  
  
Jennifer allowed Raziel to help her to her feet. "Morphic identity," she said. "You didn't realize that you were in your younger body until after your perception of yourself had frozen."  
  
Kain stared at Raziel, who merely shrugged. Kain turned away in disgust.  
  
"Where do you think you're going?" Raziel asked.  
  
"I have an appointment with a doll maker," Kain said.  
  
"There are some things that you should know," Jennifer shouted after Kain. "You're not going to be able to hurt him, and he might be able to do something horrible to you."  
  
"Do not presume to warn me, girl," Kain sneered.  
  
Jennifer sighed. "Just remember, you don't need to feed anymore. The authorities are going to hunt you down if you insist on killing people."  
  
Kain turned to Raziel again, "Why do you put up with this wench?"  
  
Raziel narrowed his eyes and said, "I have my reasons."  
  
Kain turned away again and strode purposefully down the street.  
  
"I can't believe I'm just letting him go," Raziel said.  
  
"I can find him again," Jennifer said.  
  
Raziel gently touched Jennifer's neck; it had finally clotted over. "I'm sorry I let him hurt you," he said.  
  
"I'm sorry about binding you in your doll form. I... I don't want to do it ever again." Jennifer said   
  
Raziel sensed that Jennifer had wanted to **promise** that she wouldn't bind him again, but he heard her hesitation. There probably would be another occasion where he would be forced into that helpless plush form. Raziel considered that Jennifer at least was concerned about not making any promises that she couldn't keep.  
  
Jennifer was examining Brightflame's damage. The little dragon's stuffing was showing through her side.   
  
"Is she...?" Raziel faltered.  
  
"It's just a popped seam, I can fix her," Jennifer said. "The poor thing's not even going to be able to think for a while, though. If Brightflame had been able to live, she probably would've gotten herself killed tonight."  
  
Raziel glanced up as Kain disappeared around a corner. "I wonder what's going to happen to him."  
  
Jennifer glanced up, "It's best not to think about it," she said hauntingly.   
  
Raziel shifted to his human form and gently lead Jennifer home.  
  
"He doesn't realize what he is, does he?" Raziel asked after a while.  
  
"You mean a doll?" Jennifer asked. "No, I don't think he does. He'll probably find out the hard way."  
  
Raziel thought about this for a moment. "I shouldn't have let him go."  
  
"He made a choice, we should respect that," Jennifer said wearily. "I don't know what's going to happen to him, but if he survives..."  
  
"What?" Raziel demanded.  
  
"He'll be just fine," Jennifer sighed. "He'll probably wander off again and find some drooling fangirl to take care of him. I think that he's got a better chance if he keeps his young look."  
  
Raziel slowly shook his head in wonderment. He wasn't sure who to feel sorry for: Kain, or the unlucky fangirl that would instantly hug him. 


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note: I am now acknowledging the reviews. This is no particular order.

Alexia Lupin- I don't know where this plot is going, either; but I do promise that it will keep twisting. Did you hurt yourself when you fell?

Varewulf- My ideas are never original. I did find the sentence that caused me to do this, but I've also been mildly interested in plushies for a while. I keep finding other things that prove that this isn't an original idea.

Za and Kuusuru- Thank you for the encouragement.

Urd- It's odd, because I know I've been exposed to nutcracker, but I don't remember very much about the story. I will keep going.

* * *

After Jennifer had washed the blood off, she carefully stitched Brightflame's side. Raziel watched sullenly. After several minutes, Jennifer tied off the thread and scrutinized her work, massaging the seam between her fingers.   
  
Jennifer gently squeezed the plush dragon to her chest. "She'll be fine, she just needs attention."  
  
Raziel stared at the dragon's glassy eyes. He could barely detect slight hints of awareness flickering behind them. "Are you going to be fine?" he asked Jennifer.   
  
Jennifer rubbed at a bloodspot on Brightflame's wing with a spit-moistened finger. "I'll recover. He didn't take very much, and it was necessary."  
  
"How much will Brightflame take?" Raziel asked. "She told me that she only has what spirit is given to her."  
  
"Do not concern yourself, Raziel," Jennifer said, "It's different for her. Normally, she just gathers the energy I would lose anyway. When I first made her, it took months for her to gain awareness. It's probably going to take her that long again to regain consciousness."   
  
"Then why did I feel her take energy from me?" Raziel asked.  
  
"We're capable of great things in moments of desperation," Jennifer said. "I doubt that she'd be able to do it again."  
  
Raziel sighed. "Is it very hard to take someone out of a game?" he asked.  
  
"It takes a bit of work," Jennifer answered carefully. "Who did you have in mind?"  
  
"Could you bring out someone from my clan?" Raziel asked.  
  
"No, that's not possible," Jennifer whispered. "Your clan… they…"  
  
Raziel held up one hand and looked away, "I only dared to hope. I realize that they were never anything more than a memory."  
  
Jennifer sat in silence, rocking ever so slightly.  
  
"Would you be able to summon Janos?" Raziel finally asked.   
  
"He's possible," Jennifer said, "but I have some conditions if you really want me to bring him."  
  
Raziel sensed the edge in Jennifer's voice. He stared at her in confusion.  
  
"I think of the guy as a bit of a religious fanatic," Jennifer explained. "I want to know who would take care of him if he gets on my nerves."  
  
Raziel stared at Jennifer in open shock. "Is that all?"   
  
Jennifer fought the urge to giggle nervously, she continued with her more serious concerns. "No, that's not all. I think it would be easiest on the old bird if he didn't know anything about the pillar's destruction. I can bring him out right at the moment where you revived him, and we can convince him that everything turned out fine. Are you willing to play along?"  
  
"You want me to lie to Janos Audron?" Raziel asked in alarm.  
  
"Technically, he was never supposed to see any of it," Jennifer said. "At least give him time to come to grips with the fact that this isn't his world first."  
  
Raziel remembered that Janos had an unshakable faith in the wheel of fate. He wondered what the ancient vampire would do when he found out what his god was really like.   
  
Then Raziel remembered the last time he had seen Janos. The ancient vampire was lying on the floor, possessed by a Hylden. He was begging for death, but Raziel had hesitated, unable to deal the killing blow. Then, the Hylden had retaliated, knocking Raziel unconscious.   
  
"What happened to Janos?" Raziel asked.  
  
"He was forced into bringing the Hylden back into Nosgoth. Then he was their slave for hundreds of years," Jennifer said. "I'm not sure exactly what it's done to his mind."  
  
Raziel let his mouth twist into a grimace as he thought about this. "We will tell him about it once he's accepted this world," he said sternly.  
  
"We'll see," Jennifer said.   
  
"So you will bring him?" Raziel asked.  
  
Jennifer rooted around in a drawer. "It will take some time, but I will do it." Jennifer held up a scrap of cloth and shook her head. "Totally the wrong shade of blue, I'm going to have to buy more material," she muttered.  
  
"Is that what I think it is?" Raziel asked incredulously.  
  
Jennifer stowed the scrap of cloth back in its drawer and grinned. "There was plenty left over, and I figured that I'd find a use for it someday."  
  
Raziel suppressed a shudder. Of all the things he had seen over the years, he was surprised that he would be so disturbed to see the remains of the cloth that now made his body.  
  
A loud knock on the door interrupted Raziel's thoughts.   
  
"Don't let him in," Jennifer said fearfully.  
  
Raziel wondered what Jennifer was talking about when he heard a familiar voice, muffled though the door.  
  
"You knew, didn't you," it growled menacingly.  
  
"Go away, Kain," Jennifer yelled back. "I haven't healed yet from the last time."  
  
"I promise not to hurt you," Kain's voice lost some of its harshness. "I just want to talk."  
  
"Do you believe him?" Jennifer asked Raziel quietly.   
  
Raziel glanced at the ugly welt on Jennifer's neck. He then thought of everything that Kain had done to him. Raziel sighed as he yanked open the door.  
  
Kain leaned against the wall. He was not restored to his fully evolved form, but he did look older. He seemed weary.  
  
Raziel grimaced at Kain. "You had better not try anything."  
  
"I am sincere," Kain said, shouldering his way past Raziel to sit heavily on the couch. "Your new face suits you," he added.  
  
Jennifer kneeled on the floor across from Kain. She saw an old and defeated tyrant, and she felt sorry for him.  
  
"You knew all along, didn't you?" Kain asked.  
  
Jennifer kept her eyes down, not meeting Kain's gaze. "Not in the first moment, but before you decided to kidnap me."  
  
Kain sat back, exhaustion claiming him. "So what is to become of me?"  
  
"What do you want, Kain?" Jennifer's question was simple, but she spoke as if it contained the world.  
  
Kain was silent for a long moment, contemplating, "I wanted Nosgoth," he said slowly. "Now it seems that I am only a poor imitation of what I once was. It no longer matters what I want."  
  
Raziel recognized Kain's feelings. He had felt the same way during the rare quiet moments in his journey through Nosgoth's past. There was nothing left to live for. At the time, Raziel's quest for answers had been the only thing sustaining him. Kain truly did have nothing.  
  
Raziel clasped his hand on Kain's shoulder companionably. This was the first time ever that they had been equals. The gesture felt odd. "You could build a new life here, if you can manage to live modestly," Raziel said.  
  
Kain snorted at the absurdity of the idea. "I suppose you've managed to adapt quite well."  
  
Raziel gave Kain's shoulder a light shove before releasing it. The old emperor's spirit wasn't completely broken.  
  
Jennifer stared openly at the two Nosgothian refugees and grinned. For a moment, she was afraid that Kain would insist on ruling the world once again. Jennifer could not have allowed him to live with that ambition.


	11. Chapter 11 Drunk Vampires

A/N Disclaimer: Again I do not own Raziel or Kain or anything from the Legacy of Kain games, nor do I own any popular culture references that I may make.

* * *

Kain and Raziel started to chat about the variations in their recent journeys. Kain told his part with confidence, an obvious mark of practice. Jennifer mused that the tales that the clans told of him had once been the tales that he told himself. Raziel's own narrative, however, was filled with hesitations. Jennifer could hear that it was from the torment of remembering.  
  
"Did you manage to save Nosgoth?" Raziel asked Kain.  
  
Kain's eyes clouded in concentration. "I do not know. The last thing I remember is standing in the citadel."  
  
Raziel turned to Jennifer, "You seem to know all of the stories, what happened next?"  
  
Jennifer sighed in sadness and defeat, "Nothing happened."  
  
Both vampires sat stone still, their eyes glittering with dangerous intensity.  
  
Jennifer shivered. She did not doubt that Kain could still hurt her, and Raziel probably would not stop him this time. "They have to write another one."  
  
Kain leered at Jennifer, his fangs gleaming prominently in his mouth. He let out a chuckle.   
  
Jennifer let herself relax slightly. She hoped that Kain's amusement wasn't at her impending death.  
  
Raziel huffed and stalked into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. His legs jerked slightly as he walked; it revealed his turmoil.  
  
"What were you about to do, Kain?" Jennifer asked softly. "You are going to save Nosgoth. What is your plan?"  
  
Kain stared evenly at Jennifer, his catlike eyes shining. "I never reveal my plans to anyone who doesn't need to know them. Besides, it would ruin the surprise."  
  
Jennifer knew that Kain was right. She had seen clues about what happened in Defiance. She had still been excited, but she wondered how much more she would've had if every major twist had been a complete surprise. "Excuse me for a moment please," Jennifer muttered.   
  
"Are you okay, Raziel?" Jennifer asked as she walked into the kitchen.  
  
Raziel was leaning with his back against the counter. He had a coffee mug gripped in both hands. His eyes were clenched in sorrow or pain. His skin flickered from blue to cream as if Raziel couldn't hold onto his form.  
  
"Was it all for nothing?" Raziel whispered.  
  
Jennifer said nothing. She couldn't bear to see Raziel suffer like this. She regretted that she took him out of the game.  
  
Raziel took a gasping breath and set the coffee mug down on the counter. His expression was hard but unreadable. "I still think about it. All my suffering, the constant manipulations, I still don't know if it was worth the cost."  
  
"If it makes you feel any better, remember that there is a horde of fans that will not stand for seeing your sacrifice wasted," Jennifer said as she reached into the cabinet by her feet and extracted a clear bottle. "But perhaps for tonight, it's best for you to forget."   
  
"That can't be a healthy solution," Raziel said.  
  
"No, but it will take the edge off," Jennifer said, examining the bottle's label.  
  
Raziel sighed his weary surrender.  
  
Jennifer grabbed three glasses from the cabinet and tromped back into the living room. "Tonight we all shall drink," she announced. Jennifer plonked the glasses down on the coffee table and poured the bottle into them.  
  
"I don't see how you expect me to drink that," Kain sneered, "unless you're planning on drinking it first."  
  
Jennifer stared at Kain in malicious glee. Kain's face registered his shock for only a moment, and then he transformed into a doll. He was barely identifiable. His body was flat and made of unflattering cotton, white on his chest and black for his pants. His tabard was held in place with a safety pin, and face was only drawn on with marker.   
  
Kain snapped back to his fully evolved vampire form, his yellow eyes flashing in anger. "Do not do that to me again!" he roared. Kain was about to launch into a tirade against Jennifer, but Raziel restrained him.  
  
"Sit down, Kain," Raziel commanded.  
  
Kain pulled his fisted arm away from Raziel's grip and slowly sat down with a sneer.  
  
"You know that you're not really a vampire anymore, so you don't have to worry about your weaknesses," Jennifer said. "Have a drink."  
  
Kain sniffed quizzically at the glass. "What is it?" he asked.  
  
"Irish vodka," Jennifer said grinning.  
  
Kain tentatively dipped a claw into the clear liquid.   
  
"Oh please, Kain. It won't hurt you," Raziel shouted in irritation. "I could throw you into a clothes washing machine without hurting you." Raziel continued, answering Kain's angry glare.  
  
"I don't know about that, he is poorly constructed," Jennifer said, her grin turning sinister. "You might come apart at the seams."  
  
Kain sneered in anger at the reminder of his true form. He downed the glass of vodka and then stared in revulsion at the drained container.  
  
Raziel raised his own glass in salute and drank.  
  
Most of the night passed in a blur. At one point, Raziel had reverted to his demon form without noticing. First he spilled a bit of vodka on his cowl as it blocked his face, then he dragged it out of the way and spilled the rest of his drink over the void of his neck.   
  
Kain survived the night with most of his dignity intact. He did laugh at Raziel's jokes and drunken antics, but he slipped into unconsciousness before he did anything too demeaning.  
  
Jennifer was dimly aware of Raziel berating the groggy Kain. She sighed as she deciphered Raziel's slurred complaints about his wings. At least Kain was too far gone to hear at this point.  
  
"Raziel," Jennifer said harshly, "pick Kain up and put him in my bed. Don't argue with me, just do it."  
  
Raziel hiccupped and slung Kain unceremoniously over his shoulder. He let Jennifer guide him into the bedroom. Raziel then dropped Kain on the bed and then fell over on top of him. Jennifer shoved the two unconscious vampires into a slightly more comfortable position.  
  
"You're just going to leave them like that?" Jennifer muttered. She turned in confusion to Brightflame, who was lounged on top of the dresser. "Of course I am," Jennifer answered herself. The little dragon would recover. Jennifer hadn't expected it to happen so quickly. She turned out the light and wandered back into the living room to sleep on the couch.  
  
Kain awoke to see Raziel's naked void of a face staring into his own. He grunted in surprise and pushed himself away.  
  
"Don't yell," Raziel said. "Where's my tabard?" Raziel's claws found Kain's tabard, but Kain yanked it away with a low growl. Raziel settled for wrapping himself in a sheet.  
  
Raziel stalked out into the living room. Jennifer was awake but nursing a hangover.  
  
"Where is it?" Raziel muttered again.  
  
"It fell off while you were putting Kain to bed," Jennifer drawled half-consciously. "I put it someplace safe."  
  
Raziel sighed, groggily realizing that his cowl was only a concept, just like the rest of him. He flipped it out of thin air and draped it over his shoulders without removing the sheet. Raziel's thoughts swam; his mind was still cloaked in a light haze of inebriation. He was just coherent enough to remember that he should avoid his human form until the hangover cleared.  
  
Kain wandered out into the living room and muttered, "By the hells, I had forgotten."  
  
Raziel grinned inwardly. "Have a headache, Kain?" he asked loudly.  
  
Kain bared his teeth at Raziel in warning; he disregarded it and continued to torment Kain.   
  
Jennifer winced in sympathy. She saw that Raziel was goading Kain's hangover on purpose. The pair exchanged insults and irate gestures for several minutes. Finally, Jennifer couldn't watch any more. "That's enough," she yelled, flinching as the effort aggravated her own hangover. At least they stopped fighting.  
  
Kain gently settled himself on the couch and addressed Jennifer. "I greatly appreciate your hospitality, but I believe I shall find other arrangements."  
  
"I know of some people that would probably be happy to take you in," Jennifer said.  
  
"Probably," Kain sneered. "Are you certain about anything, girl?"  
  
"The name is Jennifer," she said icily. "Some of them have your symbol scribed into their skin."  
  
"The audacity of some humans," Kain said, a mixture of annoyance and humor coloring his voice. "They should not dare to turn me away."  
  
"Just be gentle with them," Jennifer muttered as she wandered over to her computer. "Why do these people insist on coming from weird imaginary places?" She printed off a set of maps. "I don't know if he's one of the tattooed ones, but he lives nearby. The other two seem like they would kill for the chance to have you living with them."  
  
Kain smiled as he accepted the maps. "You have been most helpful."


	12. Chapter 12

The next week was uneventful. Jennifer noticed a message on the online boards from one of the Kain fans. It was fairly vague; Elizavere's Doom wanted to find the real doll maker. Jennifer fired off a private message to the sender asking if any cute vampires had shown up on the doorstep. A few more cryptic messages confirmed Kain's location.  
  
"I suppose I should've given him my business card," Jennifer mused as she sent off the information. "At least he's doing well."  
  
Raziel was glad that Kain had decided to leave on his own. Raziel did forgive Kain for using him, but it was still hard to forget all the torment. Having the old vampire living here would not have been a comfortable situation.   
  
Raziel picked up the Blood Omen 2 box. He still didn't know very much of the story; he never got around to asking about it. Raziel turned on the PS2; the game was still in the machine.  
  
He watched the intro movie, this time he was prepared for the shock. Raziel thought back to the time when it would've felt unnatural to think of the Reaver as anything other than an imposing magic sword. It did disturb him to see the Reaver fall into the hands of the enemy.   
  
Raziel quickly worked through the training mission. "I know all about blood drinking and vampiric weaknesses," he sneered.   
  
Jennifer walked up behind Raziel, "Are you sure that game isn't too violent for you?" she asked.  
  
Raziel turned to Jennifer and said haughtily, "I had been living as a vampire for a millennia. I doubt that there is anything here that I haven't done myself countless times." He accidentally pushed forward on the stick; the miniature version of Kain immediately ran off the edge of a dock and writhed in agony as he dissolved.   
  
Raziel's eyes widened in surprise, then he grinned maliciously. He waited for the screen to reload, and then purposefully made Kain run off the edge of the dock again. "It does feel odd to be the one controlling Kain," Raziel said. He made Kain run off the dock a couple more times.  
  
Jennifer shook her head sadly. She wasn't sure what to make of Raziel's actions. He could've been enjoying the suffering that he was inflicting on the little avatar, or he could be lost in a memory. Jennifer just couldn't decide sometimes.  
  
Raziel saved his game and shut off the machine. He stood up and stretched. Jennifer squealed as Raziel brought his hands up to his head. "What?" Raziel asked in confusion.  
  
"It's going to come off in your hands," Jennifer giggled nervously.  
  
Raziel ignored Jennifer's sudden squeamishness and cracked his neck sharply.   
  
Jennifer shuddered as she turned away from Raziel. She dug into her shopping bags and pulled out the pale blue material.   
  
"How long will it take?" Raziel asked, admiring the cloth.  
  
"It's hard to say, really," Jennifer said, shaking it out. "I take pride in my work."  
  
Jennifer laid the cloth on the dining room table and arranged the pattern pieces she had drawn. It took her a few hours to get everything cut out. Raziel glanced at her work occasionally. He was interested in the process, but it was also a bit boring.   
  
"Maybe I should just make a bunch of these and sell them to the rabid Janos fans," Jennifer muttered as she dragged out her sewing machine.  
  
"Are you having second thoughts about this?" Raziel asked pointedly.  
  
"I am constantly thinking about it," Jennifer said, "I don't want to face the possibility of having to destroy him if things don't work out."  
  
Raziel cocked his head to the side, "Did you think of that when you summoned me?"  
  
Jennifer stopped; she stared at the pieces of fabric in her hands. "No. At the time, I was only curious if I could actually do it. I..." she swallowed, sorrow causing her words to become choked. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Would you have destroyed me?" Raziel asked. His tone was level, completely without emotion.  
  
Jennifer looked straight into Raziel's eyes. "No. At least..." she drew a shuddering breath, she blinked and forced herself to meet Raziel's gaze once more. "If you had become a danger to others, then I would have."  
  
"And what if you merely tire of my presence?" Raziel asked snidely.  
  
Jennifer sighed, this again. "I don't think that will happen." She felt small pinpricks of tears forming in her eyes. "I don't want you to leave me, but I won't stop you either."  
  
Raziel stared at Jennifer for a long moment. "I have no intention of leaving. Forgive me, I still suspect betrayal at every turn."  
  
Jennifer shrugged nonchalantly. "It's understandable." She yelped as she impaled her finger on a pin. "Perhaps you should hear what Janos has to say about being used by the Hylden." She said, indicating the game that Raziel had abandoned earlier that day.  
  
"Is there something I should know?" Raziel asked.  
  
Jennifer thought for a moment, then admitted, "I don't think there's anything special. It's just that his passion makes my skin crawl." She reflected for another moment. "I guess I'm just a bit biased. I want to leave the final decision to you." Jennifer bent back to her task of pinning fabric.  
  
It took several days for Jennifer to sew together the doll that was to become Janos Audron. It was finally beginning to look like him. The doll was smaller than Raziel's plush form, and it was closer to realistic proportions. Jennifer sewed his pants and robe separately, but she kept them simple without the gold embroidery.   
  
She had a bit of trouble with Janos' wings. Jennifer first tried a set of chibi wings; the interfacing she used was stiff. After scrutinizing the result, Jennifer yanked them off with a dull snap. Raziel gasped at her in horror. "He's not alive yet," Jennifer muttered as she reached for more black fabric to begin again.  
  
Raziel decided that he didn't want to watch anymore. Jennifer bent to her work with a cold detachment. He decided to play Kain's game some more. He had gotten to the Eternal Prison level already. He could see why Jennifer had called Kain a bloodthirsty maniac. The lore system encouraged the player to gorge Kain on blood, even when he was at full health. Raziel would not approved of the behavior from his own fledglings.  
  
Raziel was trying to kill Magnus on the first encounter. He spent fifteen minutes trying to beat down the deranged creature before he tossed down the controller in frustration. Jennifer came into the room and triumphantly set the completed Janos doll on top of the PS2.  
  
"Are you ready to begin?" Raziel asked, examining the doll.  
  
"Not yet," Jennifer answered. "The doll is finished, but it needs to sit around for a couple days. Are you having trouble?"  
  
"You play this level," Raziel said in frustration.   
  
Jennifer shrugged as she picked up the controller and ran confidently through the level. She occasionally yelled at the screen. "Come on, run away, dammit." She mashed the buttons a bit. "When I say dodge, you dodge!"   
  
Raziel stared at Jennifer and her outbursts. "You weren't that way when you were playing me, were you?"  
  
Jennifer paused the game for a moment and wriggled her fingers. "I'd make fun of the soldiers occasionally, but that's it, honest."  
  
Jennifer finished the level and handed the controller back to Raziel, "There's no more crazy unkillable vampires running around."  
  
Raziel managed to finish the game that night. "Why didn't you tell me that Janos got thrown into the demon dimension?" he asked as he watched the credits.  
  
"I didn't think of it," she admitted. "I was trying to figure out if there was any other moment I would've taken him from. That particular one was furthest from my mind."  
  
"How convenient," Raziel snorted.   
  
Jennifer was silent for a long and painful moment. "I do not withhold information to deceive you. I only fail to tell you things when I think it would cause you unnecessary pain."  
  
"Do not trouble yourself," Raziel spat.  
  
Jennifer silently stood and walked into the bedroom. She would not speak to him again that night.  
  
Raziel silently wondered why he did not truly trust his newest benefactor. He already knew the answer. He had long ago lost his ability to trust anybody. Raziel did not like this line of thinking, but there was no other course to take. Was Jennifer as naïve as she claimed to be? Raziel spent the night thinking, occasionally staring at the form of Janos before him. He finally decided that there was nothing he could do, really. Raziel liked Jennifer, and he would only have to risk trusting her.

* * *

A/N I realise this chapter was a bit slow, but it's a bridge. I do accept negative reviews as well as the positive ones. If you see a problem with the way this story is unfolding, please tell me.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: First of all, I apologize to anyone who read chapter 11 before June 09 of 2004. I changed the conversation in the kitchen, it bothered me since the morning after I uploaded it. I also adjusted Raz's state from hungover to still slightly drunk.  
  
Secondary Author's note: This section took so much effort to get right. (I tried the Dracula reference at least five times before I eliminated the events that brought it.) I try to keep every scrap of discarded story, the file looks like a proper author's floor around the garbage can. Still, despite the effort, I'm always accepting negative reviews along with the good.

* * *

Jennifer did not mention the incident when she awoke the next morning. She was not truly bothered by Raziel's harsh words, only by the underlying tones that he might never trust her.   
  
Jennifer picked up the completed doll of Janos. "Are you absolutely sure that you want me to do this?" she asked.  
  
Raziel thought for a long moment. "I want you to raise Janos Audron,"  
  
Jennifer nodded and began her preparations; they took almost the entire day. Though there were few physical components left to arrange, but Jennifer needed to gather her mental forces. She considered two discs, finally deciding on the one containing Defiance. It was only a moment, as far as Janos was concerned.   
  
There was no real ritual. Jennifer loaded the game and paused at the appropriate moment, setting the controller on the floor next to Janos. Then she knelt with her hands over the doll and started calling to him. Raziel watched closely. Brightflame also watched from her current perch on top of the television.   
  
There was a perceptible transfer of energy, and suddenly the doll seemed to move. Jennifer gritted her teeth in pain. Raziel could not tell if this was supposed to happen. He fought the urge to yank Jennifer away from the doll, afraid that she would be harmed if her concentration broke. The doll of Janos became real flesh, and Jennifer collapsed on the floor. "It is done," Jennifer breathed. She sat up and motioned for Raziel to come closer. "He's waking up," she said.  
  
Raziel shifted to his wraith form, the one that Janos would recognize. He placed one hand on the winged vampire's shoulder. Janos opened his eyes slowly. He gazed on his surroundings, and then settled on Raziel's face.  
  
"Raziel? I remember. You came for the Reaver," he said, struggling to rise.  
  
"It's over, Janos," Raziel said. "Our destinies are complete, and this world is our new home."  
  
Janos stared at Raziel in confusion. "No, it is not possible."  
  
"Please, for once I know what I'm talking about." Raziel stated.  
  
"You must be confused, Raziel. Do not worry, I shall get to the bottom of this," Janos flung Raziel aside and flew out through the balcony window.  
  
"I don't have complete control over him yet. I can't stop him," Jennifer said worriedly. "At least I'll be able to find him. We can't let Janos run lose until he understands this world."  
  
The two started walking, following Jennifer's intuition of Janos' location.   
  
"I did not realize that the process was painful to you," Raziel said to Jennifer.  
  
"It wasn't when I pulled you through," Jennifer admitted. "For some reason, it was much harder this time."  
  
They came upon a cemetery. "Why did I expect him to end up here?" Jennifer asked rhetorically.  
  
"Are you frightened of graveyards at night?" Raziel asked.  
  
Jennifer rolled her eyes at Raziel. "Don't be ridiculous, "she said.  
  
The cemetery was surrounded by a high wall. Raziel easily leapt to the top of it while carrying Jennifer. The two wandered through the cemetery. It was an old one, full of statues and intricate headstones.   
  
Jennifer almost mistook Janos for just another statue. He was resting on his knees in the darkness and staring at the ground. Jennifer hung back while Raziel went t to the ancient vampire.  
  
"Raziel, what is this place?" Janos asked, fear tinting his voice.  
  
"We're not in Nosgoth anymore. This is a completely different planet." Raziel said gently. "We've both done our part to save Nosgoth, but now we no longer have a place in that world."  
  
Janos sighed softly. "Then what is my purpose now?"  
  
"You're free to live however you want," Jennifer said as she stepped forward.  
  
"You are human, but there is no fear in your eyes," Janos said as he stood. "Why are you not afraid?"  
  
"Why should I be afraid of you?" Jennifer asked. "There is no bloodcurse anymore, and I don't believe you would attack me without reason."  
  
Janos suddenly jerked his wings open in surprise. "No bloodcurse? How is this possible?"  
  
"It's because of the way that I have pulled you into this world," Jennifer said.   
  
Janos did not give Jennifer a chance to continue. "I sincerely doubt that a mere human could have the power to undo what our greatest sorcerers could not. If there is no bloodcurse, then what are those marks on your neck?"  
  
"He was confused," Jennifer said, flinching. "If you would just let me explain..."  
  
"Enough!" Janos cried as he launched himself into the air.  
  
"He's too stubborn," Jennifer said as she watched Janos circle upwards. "I can't force him to do anything yet."  
  
"If only I could reach him," Raziel said.  
  
"You can, Raziel." Jennifer said with conviction.  
  
"You know I can't fly with these ruined wings," Raziel said bitterly.  
  
"You can transform yourself," Jennifer insisted. "There is no reason why you can't bring back your wings."  
  
Raziel knew that Jennifer was right. He concentrated for a moment on the bones and sinew of his wings, how they felt on that fateful day... He screamed as he remembered the agony as they were ripped from his back. Raziel lay sobbing on the ground.  
  
Jennifer grimaced as she realized that it would not be that easy. Raziel still had inner demons to fight. Jennifer knelt down beside him and said, "I'm sorry, Raziel."  
  
Raziel shrugged off Jennifer's attentions as he noticed Janos gliding away. He bounded through the cemetery and vaulted over the wall. Raziel transformed back into his human form for a few minutes, but then he realized that he could not maintain his unnatural stamina. He would have to risk being seen. Fortunately this was a town where most people did not remain outdoors at night.  
  
Janos swooped down and landed in the middle of the road. Raziel ran to catch up with him. Janos saw Raziel running towards him, but he did not notice the car that was coming at him from the opposite direction.   
  
"Janos, behind you!" Raziel yelled, but it was too late. The car struck Janos. The car then reversed and sped off again. Raziel lifted the unconscious Janos carefully and carried him to the darkness at the side of the road. "Forgive me. Once again I have taken your life," Raziel sobbed.  
  
Jennifer finally caught up with the pair. She took one look and guessed what had happened. "Raziel, he will recover," Jennifer said comfortingly. "He can't resist me now, it's for the best that I do this." She placed one hand on Janos' forehead and he transformed into his doll form.   
  
"Do you think that he will ever submit to reason?" Raziel asked as he gently held the doll to his chest.  
  
"If his attitudes weren't so rigid, I could just show him what he really is," Jennifer said sadly. "I'm afraid that if I do it too soon, his mind might snap."  
  
Raziel did not say anything. He stayed lost in his own thoughts until they returned to Jennifer's apartment. Jennifer returned Janos to his vampire form, though he remained unconscious for several hours. Raziel did not leave his side.  
  
Janos awoke with a soft groan. He sat up slowly and flexed his wings. Several feathers dislodged themselves and floated through the air.  
  
Raziel laid a hand on Janos' shoulder and said, "I feared that you would never wake."  
  
"Fortunately I am not that easy to kill," Janos said as he tried to stand. Raziel tightened his grip on Janos' shoulder, preventing him from rising. Janos met Raziel's narrow gaze with a questioning stare.  
  
"You are going to stay here and you are going to listen to what I have to say," Raziel said with cold determination.   
  
Janos sighed in defeat, "Very well."


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Raziel, Janos, Kain, or anything else from the Legacy of Kain games. I also do not own Earth, cookies, or any popular cultures references I may use.

* * *

Raziel began describing what he knew of the world to Janos. The old vampire wearily listened, occasionally asking for clarification when something was beyond his understanding. Raziel did not mention the games.  
  
"And the bloodcurse?" Janos asked. "Did she speak truly?"  
  
"You should have no desire for blood," Raziel said. "Though our appearance here would still cause most people to be afraid. I have found a way to walk among them." Raziel paused as he shifted form.  
  
Janos blinked in surprise. "You would choose to be human?"  
  
"I was human once," Raziel said carefully, "but this form is simply an improvement over the corpse that was forced to inhabit."  
  
"Is that how you looked before?" Janos asked curiously.  
  
"No, I chose a new face to match my new life here," Raziel said, afraid that Janos would ask more about his former appearance. Raziel did not want to explain what he looked like before. He did not want to tell Janos that he had once been his murderer.  
  
Janos said nothing as he studied Raziel.   
  
Raziel wondered for a moment if Janos already knew the truth. He broke the silence hastily. "Jennifer will want to know that you're awake."  
  
Janos followed Raziel into the living room. Jennifer was sitting on the couch. Her head was resting against the back; she was snoring gently. Raziel gently laid a hand on her forehead, and Jennifer's eyes snapped open.  
  
"I'm sorry I fell asleep," Jennifer said.  
  
"You must be exhausted," Raziel said worriedly.  
  
"I'll recover," Jennifer said as she stood up shakily.   
  
Janos gracefully stepped closer to Jennifer. "I apologize for my rude behavior earlier. I did not realize what you had done for me."  
  
Jennifer blushed as Janos grasped her hands in his massive talons. He still had his fangs, but he was also insanely cute. Jennifer wondered if he was doing that on purpose.   
  
Raziel felt a brief pang of possessiveness; it made him feel uncomfortable to see Janos and Jennifer standing like that. Fortunately, the contact only lasted a moment.   
  
The trio spent the few remaining hours of the night talking. Their conversation wandered mostly on Earthly subjects; only a few comments had anything to do with Nosgoth. At one point, Jennifer dragged out a tin of cookies and some coffee. Janos eyed the snacks warily for a moment, and then decided to try eating. He bit into a cookie and chewed with such concentration that Jennifer had to stop watching him before she burst out laughing. His eyes lit with pleasure, and for a while he considered the rest of the cookie as if it were some precious talisman.  
  
"Is something wrong, Janos?" Jennifer asked, noticing his silent wonder.  
  
"It has been countless centuries since I had last eaten," Janos said in awe, "and this is truly a magnificent food."  
  
Raziel smiled into his coffee cup. He had feared that Jennifer's hesitation had been justifiable, but it seemed possible that Janos could live in this world.  
  
Over the next few days, Jennifer and Raziel learned just how stubborn Janos could be. They never did find a good moment to tell him that he was really a doll. It was impossible to get him to disguise his vampiric form.   
  
"That which is divine cannot be suppressed," Janos calmly asserted.  
  
This sparked minor debates about the nature of the God of the Ancient Vampires. Jennifer politely kept silent. She realized that she didn't really know very much about the squid.  
  
"Your God is not what you think," Raziel said finally. "I've seen him."  
  
Janos was silent. Hurt and confusion crossed his face. He glanced at Jennifer. She nodded her head in a solemn affirmation.  
  
Janos bowed his head in thought. "I do not believe it," he said stonily.  
  
Raziel gave in to his frustration. His form flickered slightly as he stalked out of Jennifer's apartment.   
  
After a few hours of quiet contemplation, Janos spoke to Jennifer. "I did not notice it the night that you brought me here, but I can sense great power in you.  
  
"It's not that great," Jennifer said modestly. "Someone else has done it as well."  
  
"Raziel's presence here was not your doing?" Janos questioned.  
  
"No, I brought him here, but he's not the only one that's been summoned to this world," Jennifer admitted, reminding herself that Janos had not yet met Kain.  
  
"I find it hard to believe that your abilities are so limited," Janos said, clasping Jennifer around the shoulders. "Ah, your potential is untapped. Allow me to teach you the magic of the vampires. It will allow you to achieve great things."  
  
Jennifer was hesitant. "Why would I need to achieve great things?"  
  
"You have been given your abilities for a reason," Janos said.  
  
"Do you know what that reason is?" Jennifer asked fearfully.  
  
"No," Janos said, trying to calm Jennifer, "but nothing happens purely by chance."  
  
"Don't start in on that again," Jennifer groaned through her teeth. She relaxed slightly, "I accept your offer."  
  
When Raziel trudged back into the apartment, Jennifer was standing face-to-face with Janos. Her eyes were half-lidded in concentration, and violet bands of energy coruscated between her hands. She dispelled the energy when she heard Raziel's footsteps.   
  
"What are you doing?" Raziel asked curiously.  
  
"I'm learning magic," Jennifer said. "Are you okay?" she added. Jennifer could see that Raziel was calm again, but she felt the need to try and reassure him anyway.  
  
Raziel nodded to Jennifer and then turned to Janos. "I don't want to argue with you."  
  
Janos acknowledged the truce with a curt nod.  
  
For the next week, Janos spent most of his time teaching Jennifer everything that she could learn. She quickly advanced to the point where she could tap into the power on an instinctual level. Raziel also learned some simple spells, but he did not have the patience or desire for anything more.  
  
One morning, Jennifer awoke to find Raziel staring out the window, and Janos was missing. She could read Raziel's face; it was troubled. Jennifer sensed that she shouldn't ask him about the missing ancient.  
  
"He left," Raziel volunteered. "Janos found a clock tower to live in."  
  
"It's odd that he would choose to live alone," Jennifer said simply.   
  
Raziel shrugged and asked. "Are you sorry to see him go?"   
  
"Are you?" Jennifer retorted gently.  
  
"I asked you first," Raziel insisted.  
  
Jennifer sighed. "I just hope he manages to survive. We never did tell him that he's a doll; he needs attention."  
  
Raziel harrumphed softly, "I'm glad that he decided to live someplace else."  
  
"Are you mad because you had to share your mentor? You can have him to yourself if that's it." Jennifer said.  
  
Raziel's words died before he spoke them, 'I had to share you.' 


	15. Chapter 15 Healing

The standard disclaimers apply, I do not own Raziel or anything else from LOK and if they saw what I was doing to their characters they would probably boot me in the head.

* * *

The moment passed. Raziel wasn't sure why he didn't tell Jennifer about his true feelings. He couldn't say that he had lost his nerve; he had been through too much to let such an insignificant thing as feelings to bother him. Then he paused for a moment to consider if this line of thinking was wrong.  
  
Raziel dismissed all those thoughts. He wasn't sure exactly what he had been thinking. Instead, he examined Jennifer's game collection.   
  
"How did you find me?" Raziel suddenly asked.   
  
Jennifer smiled in slight embarrassment as she admitted, "It was an accident."  
  
Raziel curiously raised his eyebrows.  
  
Jennifer picked up Soul Reaver 2. "I didn't know what I was getting myself into, it just looked like an interesting game." She set the box down again and remarked wistfully, "It was supposed to be just a simple revenge story, something that no one would get obsessed with."  
  
Raziel jumped slightly, "What do you mean?"  
  
Jennifer stared at Raziel, trying to read his mood. He was only slightly tense. Jennifer composed her thoughts and said, "You saw it in the streams of time. When you reached the bottom of the chronoplast, you were supposed to battle Kain again and he was supposed to escape to his citadel instead of going into the past." Jennifer paused and struggled to remember the rest. "I'm not sure about most of the details, but it ends when you repair the silenced cathedral and kill every vampire in Nosgoth."  
  
"That would have meant victory for him," Raziel said bitterly, speaking of the Elder God.  
  
Raziel turned back to Jennifer. "So, you were obsessed with the story, and you decided to pull me out of it."  
  
Jennifer shook her head. "The story was just the hook. If that was all that I cared about, I wouldn't need to bring you here."   
  
He gazed at Jennifer and reflected back on his feelings. Raziel gently laid his hands on her shoulders. "Jennifer, I have something to tell you," he said gently.  
  
Jennifer stared into Raziel's eyes. Her expression was completely open and honest.  
  
Raziel hesitated. He found that he would rather face down a horde of demons than his own emotions. Instead of speaking, he slowly leaned towards Jennifer. He kissed her tenderly. Jennifer returned his kiss gratefully.  
  
The two retreated to the bedroom, but that's where the cruelty of their situation sunk in. It was not only rage, but also any powerful emotional state that caused Raziel to revert to his wraith form. He immediately flung Jennifer away from himself; the horror of what had happened caused him to shake. He turned away from her in shame.  
  
Jennifer gently laid her fingers on Raziel's arm. She had realized why this happened, and all she wanted to do was comfort him.  
  
"You must find me repulsive," Raziel choked.  
  
"Raziel, you know that you're not your body," Jennifer said gently. "And I don't care what form you take." She pulled on Raziel's arm, forcing him to turn around and face her.   
  
Jennifer gazed into Raziel's eyes for a long moment, and then she slowly reached up and stroked his brow. Her hand wandered down the side of Raziel's face. She stopped at his cowl, her fingers lingering on its edge. It was a question of respect, but Jennifer also knew that it would hurt Raziel unless he gave it up willingly.   
  
Raziel reluctantly unwrapped his drape from his shoulders, letting it drop to his side. Jennifer brought her other hand up to Raziel's face and cradled his head gently between her palms. Without breaking her gaze, Jennifer slowly leaned towards Raziel. She let the side of her nose brush against his and then tenderly kissed his exposed fangs. Either this would prove to Raziel that Jennifer could love him in this form, or it would drive him away forever. Jennifer knew that she had to take this risk.  
  
Raziel gently reached for Jennifer and held her loosely. His body had no softness; a tighter embrace would've been uncomfortable or even painful for Jennifer. Raziel watched her face. She did not flinch at his touch. Raziel wondered in agony how she could possibly tolerate being so close to his ruined form. He had been so repulsed by himself that he could barely endure it.  
  
Raziel stiffened in grief. He wished that he had tears so he could cry. "Why?" He whispered softly.  
  
"You are not your body," Jennifer affirmed. Her voice was strained with sympathetic sadness. "Know that you are beautiful."  
  
They stayed in that sad embrace for a long time, and then they sank back to the bed. Both of them were emotionally exhausted. Raziel was on his back and staring at the ceiling. Jennifer lay nestled against his side, her head pillowed on his chest. She idly stroked his ribs.  
  
"Can you feel this, Raziel?" Jennifer gently asked.  
  
Raziel rolled his gaze towards Jennifer. "I am aware of your touch, but that is all. I am almost numb."  
  
Jennifer heard how Raziel's voice echoed hollowly though his chest. She shifted in an effort to meet his gaze. Instead, she saw how the roof of Raziel's mouth was also burned away, revealing his nasal passages. Jennifer allowed herself a second of fascination before she nuzzled back against Raziel's chest. "I'm sorry, Raziel."  
  
He gently stroked his claws through Jennifer's hair. "Don't be sorry." Raziel allowed himself to mourn for the pleasures of the flesh that were denied to him, but he also knew that he had found something far more precious.

"Why were you willing to let me leave if you cared this much about me?" Raziel finally asked.

"If you love someone, you let them go. If they don't come back, they were never yours to begin with," Jennifer sighed sadly. "You would've grown to hate me if I had forced you to stay."

Raziel sighed inwardly, knowing she was right. He was used to the gambits and manipulations of others; it was his pride in his free will that often led him into their traps. He wondered if this was different, but his own mind told him that this was truly what he wanted. Raziel knew that even if he had instantly fallen in love with Jennifer, he would've resented being held captive. It was bad enough that one day when she had forced him not to go after Kain.


	16. Chapter 16

Standard disclaimers apply. I do not own Raziel or any other LOK vampires. Nor do I own any other popular culture references I may make.

A/N: There is something severly wrong with this chapter. If anyone spots it, let me know because I can't find it.

* * *

Raziel was finally getting bored with the escapism of television and video games. Most of Jennifer's 'collection' was not very interesting. It seemed like she had made mostly poor choices until she had discovered Nosogth, and then stopped buying games entirely. Raziel now spent much of his spare time wandering around and watching people, instead.

Raziel glanced up at the town's clock tower. All of the faces read different times, and not one of them was right. There was probably some deep metaphor in that image, but he was sick of trying to find meaning in the things he saw. Instead, Raziel wondered if Janos was settling into his new life.

Slipping inside the building was easy. The base was open but no one noticed his presence. It was only after he had climbed the many flights of stairs that he had a problem. The trapdoor at the top had a sturdy padlock. Raziel debated with himself whether or not he should just break the lock off, but he finally decided to try and find another way in.

He perched in one of the towers windows and looked up. There was another opening that Raziel could reach; though only through the providence of crumbling mortar in the brickwork. He glanced down; the chances of anyone looking up to see him were slim. The wraith Raziel swung out of the window and clambered to the next level of the tower, resuming his human form as soon as he hit the floor.

The ancient vampire was nowhere to be seen, but this was obviously Janos' main living space. It was by no means as luxurious as his old mountain retreat. There was a simple bed and dining set, plus a chair that would be comfortable for a winged creature. A light field of magic suffused this open space. Raziel spent a moment wondering what it was for until he noticed the pigeons perched on the edge of the roof. There was a box of scrap metal resting on top of the trapdoor in the floor. Breaking the padlock earlier would not have helped.

A familiar rustle of feathers alerted Raziel to Janos' return. "How did you manage to get up here?" Janos asked curiously.

Raziel looked over the ledge where he had pulled himself up. "There are very few things that can deter me."

Janos briefly inspected Raziel's route, he was surprised that it had been possible. "I should have known," he muttered in admiration. "Perhaps it would be easier if you used a spell next time."

Raziel shrugged. "I suppose."

"Is there something on your mind?" Janos asked, inviting Raziel to sit down.

Raziel pulled out one of the dining chairs and sat on it backwards. "I merely want to know if you are well."

"I have spent this time contemplating my purpose here, and it disturbs me to find that I have completely lost my faith in everything I have known," Janos said slouching wearily in his chair.

"You must be devastated," Raziel said in sympathy.

"It is hard, but I also feel a great sense of release. I have fulfilled my obligations," Janos' posture straightened. Tell me about our God, I am ready to listen."

Raziel was mildly surprised at Janos' turnaround, but he patiently described his encounters with the Elder God. Janos did interrupt occasionally with his own views, but Raziel was able to explain these as well.

After about an hour of this, Janos wearily collapsed; his face was a mask of pain. He muttered quietly in his original language. "What is there now?" he finally asked hauntingly. 

"I don't know," Raziel said. "Does it really matter?"

"Do you believe in anything?" Janos asked Raziel.

"I used to," Raziel said sardonically, "but I've believed in too many things; only to find out later that the opposite was true."

Janos sighed, "I do not think that I could survive without something to believe in. I just hope that I can find the truth."

"Why don't you come back to Jennifer's place with me?" Raziel asked. He wasn't sure that now was the time to leave Janos alone.

"I will come back for a visit, but this is a more suitable home," Janos said, gesturing at the open walls and visible horizon.

Raziel saw that Janos was preparing for a transport spell, so he quickly backed away. "I'd rather walk." Raziel had never gotten comfortable with the idea, and he knew how disorienting it could be.

Raziel shifted back into his wraith form and glided towards a fire escape across the street. Suddenly, Janos plucked him out of the air and flew upwards. Raziel was so surprised that he almost attacked Janos. He choked out his protest, "This is undignified,"

"It is faster," Janos murmured against Raziel's ear.

Raziel allowed himself to relax as he watched the ground slide away below him. Even though he hadn't yet tried to regrow his wings since that night in the cemetery, he was still slightly resentful of Janos' ability. At least he wasn't afraid of heights.

After a few minutes, Raziel spotted Jennifer's balcony. He twisted out of Janos' hold and let himself drop most of the way, catching himself only at the last moment. He switched forms and frowned up at Janos. He was coasting down at a more leisurely rate.

Raziel turned to enter the apartment when Jennifer came rushing out at him. She was following a ridiculously small sword. It would have impaled Raziel, but recognition flashed through Jennifer's eyes and the blade passed over his left shoulder instead. Raziel grabbed Jennifer by the arms as her momentum threatened to pitch both of them off.

"Thank goodness it's you!" Jennifer cried as she accidentally dropped her sword over the edge of the balcony. "Someone's been skulking around out here." She hauled Raziel into the apartment.

Janos followed a moment later. "You dropped your knife," he said disapprovingly. Though the sword was almost as long as Jennifer's arm, it looked tiny in Janos' massive talons. He leaned it against the wall.

"Why were you planning on stabbing the intruder?" Raziel asked.

"I don't want anyone to know that I can do magic if I can help it," Jennifer said. "I didn't want to actually kill him, either."

"If you're going to be pulling crazy stunts like that, I'm going to have to teach you how to fight," Raziel said sternly.

"Why would you need to hide it?" Janos asked curiously.

"Magic isn't supposed to be real," Jennifer said, letting bands of energy crackle between her fingers. "Though really that means that anyone who sees me would only be considered crazy if they told anyone."

The trio found themselves in another wandering conversation. This time it meandered through things like the Ancients' Prophecies and public libraries. Janos eventually questioned Jennifer on what her beliefs were.

Jennifer thought carefully for a moment. "I suppose there are deities out there, but I don't owe my allegiance to any particular one."

Janos shook his head in wonder. "Such a lack of faith. Do you ever feel lost?"

Jennifer smiled reflectively, "Sometimes." She let her eyes wander, as if examining her own thoughts. "I always have faith in something, even if it's only myself."

Janos stared evenly at Jennifer, considering her flexible ways and wondering if hers were right.

Raziel was a little surprised at Jennifer's unconcerned attitude, but he also figured that it was healthy in its own way. It would certainly be a good example for Janos.

Suddenly, Jennifer froze and stared at the balcony. Raziel sprang up and ducked outside. After a few minutes, he came back in through the door. "It was just a kid," he said scornfully. "I scared him pretty bad, so he won't be back anytime soon."

Jennifer sighed shakily, "It was a lucky thing that he wasn't hurt."

Raziel nodded sternly.

After that, Janos used a spell to transport himself back to his clock tower. He needed to contemplate some more.


	17. Chapter 17 Three short ones

Copy/Paste standard disclaimer about Raziel, LOK, and popular culture references.

A/N: This is really a collection of three very short chapters. I'm leading up to something, but this is a transition full of character development and growth.

* * *

Jennifer idly brushed her hand across her game collection. "It's so odd. Before I managed to push your memories back, I tried to raise another character out of the games. It didn't work, and Brightflame criticized me for trying to raise a dead thing." 

"What could possibly be deader than me?" Raziel asked. "And what possessed you to try and summon it?"

"I'm not saying exactly, but he was supposed to be breathing and full of life," Jennifer said. "I think that Brightflame meant that I was trying to take something that was only an image. I can feel what she meant, now."

Raziel frowned as she watched Jennifer's fingers search among the boxes. "What are you looking for?"

"Relax, Raziel. I'm just curious about who I could bring through." Jennifer let her fingers linger for a moment before drawing them back in mild surprise. "There's only one story that I can draw from here."

Raziel snorted in depreciation. "Could it be that you only have one good one in that entire pack?"

"Probably," Jennifer said, deliberately ignoring Raziel's cutting remark.

* * *

Two days later, a large box arrived by courier. Jennifer briefly examined the label. "That was fast," she muttered as she went into the kitchen to get a knife. 

"What is it?" Raziel asked curiously.

"My folks found some of my old stuff the other day, and they emailed me to see if I wanted it. I had to leave it behind back when I was moving around a lot," Jennifer explained as she carefully sliced through the packing tape and pulled open the box. She held up a small doll and squawked, "Rainbow Bright!"

Raziel sat back and watched curiously as Jennifer admired the doll. It had a large plastic head with yellow hair and a vacant expression. Its legs flopped about loosely from the bottom of its blue skirt. The doll had dirt rubbed into the edges of her costume.

Jennifer hugged the doll and giggled uncontrollably. Raziel stared at Jennifer in confusion. She set it down on the floor, but she was still grinning. "She must have been packed away while I was still an innocent," Jennifer beamed happily.

Raziel gently lifted the doll and eyed it critically. It seemed perfectly ordinary. He glanced back at Jennifer, who was again digging around in the box. "She was the lucky one. Most of my other toys didn't survive my destructive phase." Jennifer held a yellow plastic horse in the palm of her hand. Its tail had obviously been ripped out, and one of its legs was cracked nearly all the way through. Its skin was marked with ballpoint pen and nail polish.

Raziel grimaced. "Why did you keep that?"

Jennifer's eyes clouded as she let her memories flow around her. "I could get a new one, but they don't use the same molds anymore. It's almost disturbing that my childhood can belong to a different generation." She dropped the horse back into the box and dug out a notebook. She tossed it aside without bothering to look at it.

Raziel flipped it open to find the pages covered in symbols that he couldn't understand. "Can you read this?" He asked.

Jennifer squinted at the pages, "Sort of, (Why did I write that stuff in Theban?) But I don't need to."

"What does it say?" Raziel asked.

"It's stuff that I wrote down years ago," Jennifer said, shuddering involuntarily. "I can barely believe I was really like that."

Raziel stared at Jennifer, "Like what?"

"Deluded," she said, drooling out the word like a sour acid. "Speaking of which," Jennifer continued, snagging an address book from the box. She quickly flipped it open and tore out a page. Her mouth twisted in a snarl as she ripped the paper into tiny pieces and flung it into the garbage.

"Old boyfriend?" Raziel asked.

"He was never really my friend," Jennifer spat with such vehemence that Raziel was unwilling to ask her any more about it.

She took a cleansing breath and flipped methodically through the address book, pruning out some more pages. "I used to hang with a bad crowd, that's all."

"Why do you keep this book if it brings up such bad memories?" Raziel asked, examining the journal in his hands.

"Because I'm likely to forget," Jennifer said. "I've been lucky so far; none of my lessons have had truly serious consequences, but something really terrible will probably happen if I keep repeating my mistakes."

"And so you torture yourself," Raziel said sadly.

"It's not like that," Jennifer said, snatching the book out of Raziel's hands. She grinned as she waggled it in front of him. "Sometimes I need to be taken down a notch. When I first wrote this, my righteous ego would've crushed your last master."

Raziel snorted in disbelief at Jennifer's wild claim. Nothing could match the arrogance of the Elder God. She didn't even measure up with Kain.

Jennifer tossed everything except for her old doll back into the box and shoved it behind the sofa. "I've had enough for today, though," She set her doll against Brightflame's side.

The dragon snorted and sat up in surprise, her eyes blazing with life. "Don't let it get me!" she screeched.

Raziel caught the frightened dragon as she leapt off the bookcase where she had been perched. The Rainbow Bright doll fell off as well, but Jennifer caught that.

"What did you see?" Raziel asked. He felt a little relief at seeing that the little dragon had finally recovered her strength.

"The black monster! It ate the blue thing. Don't let it get me!" Brightflame hysterically screamed as she squirmed around the back of Raziel's shoulders.

"Calm down, it's just a memory," Jennifer said.

"What is she talking about?" Raziel asked, wincing as Brightflame's struggles drove the tips of her wings into the back of his neck.

"I used to have a dog when I was little, and I remember that it ripped up my stuffed smurf," Jennifer answered slowly. "This doll must have seen it, and Brightflame must have been able to absorb the memory somehow." Jennifer set down the old doll and plucked the dragon off of Raziel's back. "That dog is dead."

Brightflame suddenly went limp from relief and exhaustion. "Keep her away from me. A child's energy is too strong."

Raziel again examined the old doll. He felt nothing but a slight revulsion at its griminess. He shrugged and dropped it on top of the box that contained the rest of Jennifer's past.

* * *

Life was again uneventful for a few days. Raziel was on his way to pursue his people-watching hobby again when he noticed the newspaper on a neighbor's welcome mat. The picture on the front was unmistakably Janos. Raziel snatched up the paper and ran back into the apartment. 

"Jennifer, take a look at this," Raziel demanded.

Jennifer was still a bit sleepy; she tended to take a full hour to wake up when she had the luxury. She blearily read the headline aloud, "Guardian angel saves child from burning building," she yawned. Suddenly, she snapped to full awareness, "He's going to cause trouble!"

"I told him that he needed to disguise his appearance," Raziel said.

Jennifer examined the picture and story. "At least he wasn't posing for this one. It looks like he didn't stick around to talk.

"This still might be a problem," Raziel said. "I'm going to go talk to him."

Jennifer flipped through the newspaper some more. "Where did you get this?"

"Oh," Raziel said, suddenly remembering common courtesies. He returned the rumpled paper on his way back out.

Raziel had not learned the spell that would transport him into Janos' home. The brick began to show the wear of his claws. The 'angel' was again nowhere to be found. After waiting for several hours, Raziel finally gave up and scribbled a note on a scrap piece of paper he found. He wasn't sure if Janos could read this script, but Raziel knew that he was the only other creature that could get into the tower. Still, he drew his clan symbol into the bottom of the note, figuring that Janos would recognize it.

When he got back, Jennifer was staring into the computer screen. "They figured it out, Raziel," she said without turning. "I'm really glad that the average is only one maniac per area."

Raziel peered over her shoulder at the mass of postings. "So much for obscurity," he muttered.

"Your secret is still safe," Jennifer said. "They haven't even figured out that I'm living in the same area as him, and I'm not going to tell them."

"Still, Janos has exposed himself," Raziel said.

"I suppose that we should just let Janos live with his own problems," Jennifer said. She called up the online version of the newspaper. "Most of the local people don't know what to make of him, anyway."

It later turned out that the town's new 'guardian angel' was acceptably elusive. Janos had been careless for a few days, but he had finally submitted to reason. The number of sightings was low enough that he was still considered a myth. There were a few people who knew that Janos was real, but they had become confidants.

* * *

A/N: I did loan my past to Jennifer, (with changes were appropriate,) it's really blatant in this chapter. I didn't realize it at first, but she does have some of the good parts of my identity. I guess I should allow it this time, but be careful of it in the future. Don't worry, this doesn't mean that she's immune to any bad stuff that might happen. 


	18. Chapter 18 Don't sue me for damages

Disclaimer: I don't own Legacy of Kain or any other identifiable pop culture references.

A/N: It's been a long time since I've acknowledged reviews, even though I love your feedback dearly. Again, no particular order. Did I forget anyone? I did write better responses, but I realized that I was spoiling things, and most of what's left is fluffy gratitude.

Jako: I can't answer that yet, simply because I'm being pointlessly mysterious. (Translation: I don't have a clue.)

Za: I'm glad you liked that part. As for Janos being stubborn, that's just something I decided to throw in.

Bear vs Chris: I'm glad one of you thinks so. (confused look)

Arallion: Thanks for the compliment.

Alexia Lupin: You brighten my day. :)

Lunatic Pandora: All answers will be revealed in time, thanks for all the comments.

JesteretseJ: I'll try harder to make it grammatically perfect.

Varewulf: You're trying to save me from the evil writer's block, aren't you? I'm not going to explain most of my decisions, except that you've made me realize something that I need to pay attention to. (Nothing to be concerned about.) One clarification, I didn't mention what video game she failed to summon from because I couldn't think of one that makes sense.

* * *

One last note: Nevermind, you'll find out in about five minutes. Don't sue me for injuries to body or equipment.

* * *

Jennifer and Raziel had stopped in a video game store after an afternoon of relaxing in the park. She offered Raziel the chance to pick out the next game for her collection, remembering what he had said about it earlier.

Jennifer brushed her hand along the shelf, realizing that there were indeed other games that had callable characters. She was shocked at how strongly she felt the life coming from Tomb Raider, but then she reminded herself that this series also had an obsessive fan base. Jennifer selected one of the early discs, deciding that it was at least worth checking out.

Raziel had selected Shadow Hearts; he eyed Jennifer's choice critically. "Have you found someone?"

"There's life here, but I don't plan on bringing her out. It's too much responsibility," Jennifer whispered so the clerk wouldn't hear her. "I don't want to worry about letting another disoriented character wander lose."

"I hope you're not regretting your decision about me," Raziel muttered

"It's not you that's the problem," Jennifer said. "It was stressful with Janos for a while, but he's tolerable. It's just that I'm starting to become aware of what might happen if there's a next time." She took the bag with the two games and followed Raziel out of the store.

"How many of those games are candidates?" Raziel asked.

"There are only a dozen or so that would be easy," Jennifer said, "but there are several more that are promising."

Raziel suddenly froze. "It's not possible," he said in shock.

Jennifer followed his gaze. Across the street was a man in a trench coat; he looked very familiar. "He looks like you did," Jennifer said, thinking perhaps that it was a coincidence.

"He is me," Raziel said angrily, "but I'm already here. How is this possible?"

"You can be pulled out infinitely, I imagine," Jennifer said. She thought for a moment then corrected herself. "No, it would start to cause problems at around ten."

The vampire across the street pulled his hand out of his pocket for a moment. He scrutinized the device he held in his three-fingered talon, and then shoved it back into his pocket. Jennifer thought that it might be a pager. The fake Raziel then began walking swiftly down the street.

"Don't try to follow us," the real Raziel told Jennifer. He took off down the street after his former self.

Jennifer became very worried about what he was going to do. She remembered the last time Raziel had argued with himself. Even when he wasn't able to communicate with his other incarnations, the result was not good. Jennifer ignored Raziel's instruction and ran after him.

It took Jennifer a long while to catch up with Raziel. "He disappeared," he said, indicating the other version. "I thought I told you to stay behind."

"What are you planning to do?" Jennifer challenged.

"I just want to talk to him," Raziel said.

"What if he wasn't in the mood to talk?" She insisted.

Raziel's expression turned a very cold shade of hostile. "What are you implying?"

Jennifer tried very hard to meet his gaze, even though she did not want to. "Your Seraphan self did not cooperate with you, and you killed him. Do you want your former vampire self dead?"

"I'm tired of death," Raziel said wearily. "He has nothing to fear from me."

When the pair got home, Raziel sat out on the balcony. He was lost in his own thoughts, or perhaps just sulking. Jennifer didn't care to think about the distinction as she busied herself on the computer. She could only think of one other person that could pull vampires out of video games, and she knew how to find out who that was. She found that Kain's keeper was online and tried to ask about the doll maker's location. Jennifer swore as the other replied that the vampire had left already.

Jennifer sent out a couple of cryptic requests to the main boards and waited. Several hours passed, and she was on the verge of losing hope when she got a reply.

DraconicWraith: Kain, is that really you? It's Jennifer.

HopeorDeath: The 'Emperor' is sitting on my couch, I'm typing for him.

(Jennifer let her spirits sink a little at this. She was afraid that she was talking to a reality-impaired psycho, but she decided that it was better than nothing.)

DW: Where is Elizavere? He's set another of his creations lose.

HOD: Is this about Janos Audron?

DW: No, Janos is my fault. This is something that I can't control.

HOD: He just left. I don't know how long it will take him to reach you...

DW: Thanks for your help.

HOD: Thank you. I never thought that he would be so difficult to live with. I didn't have the guts to tell him to leave.

Jennifer allowed herself the slightest bit of shock at this news. She thought that maybe Kain had stumbled onto someone who only claimed to be a fanatic. Then again, playing host to a vampire isn't always as fun as it sounds.

Jennifer glanced up to see Raziel suddenly leap off the balcony. She assumed that he was going out to look for his former self again. Jennifer was still convinced that no good could come of this.

Out of curiosity, Jennifer looked back to the computer. Other people had responded to her request, indicating that Kain had not stayed in one place for very long. Jennifer thought about firing off a message that she had found what she was looking for, but this was a good way to track where he had already been, and she still wasn't sure that HOD wasn't just messing with her.

Jennifer's fears were cast aside when she heard the distinctive sound of a cloud of bats converging on her balcony. Kain slipped in through the sliding door. He seemed very weary, almost sick.

"Oh my god, what's wrong with you?" Jennifer asked fearfully.

Kain acted as if his entire body ached as he lowered himself into the recliner. He let his eyelids sink for a moment, not bothering to answer.

"Kain, take your true form for a moment," Jennifer said concernedly, already sensing the problem.

Kain did not move, but he regarded Jennifer with a hostile stare.

"Kain..." Jennifer returned his stare, her threat unspoken, 'Don't make me force you.'

Kain reluctantly let himself slip back into his doll form. Jennifer clasped her hands over her open mouth, her face a mask of shock and horror. "You are coming apart at the seams," she finally whispered. Jennifer recovered herself. "You should have come to me sooner. I can't repair your body; I would probably destroy you in trying."

"So, after all these years, I am to die like this. It is a cruel irony," Kain sighed.

"I could try to give you a new body, but it would be dangerous," Jennifer said gently.

"What choice do I have?" Kain asked rhetorically.

Jennifer started rooting through her fabric drawer. "By the way, what happened with your fans?" She examined some muslin, but a simple test proved that it would rip too easily.

"There were many reasons," Kain reflected. His eyes flickered to the computer screen; it was still showing the message boards. "I think perhaps you are already familiar with some of them."

Jennifer choked in embarrassment. She was glad to see that Kain did not seem exceedingly angry. One of the posts had been from a very upset man who had unsuccessfully tried to woo the vampire. Fortunately, most of the reasons were a bit more pedestrian.

Brightflame clumsily ambled out of the bedroom and clambered onto the arm of Kain's chair. "Oh, how the mighty have fallen," she said smugly. 

"If you hurt her again, I'll make your new body out of this," Jennifer threatened, holding up the sizable remains of the blue cloth the she had used to make Janos.

Kain snarled as he lowered his hand back to the arm of the chair. He had been about to knock the impertinent creature away.

Jennifer finally found an appropriate white fabric and used Janos' template to start cutting out the pieces. The two vampires were similar enough that Jennifer only had to distort the pattern a little bit. "Do you ever actually use your doll form?" She asked.

"Never," Kain growled.

"It's odd that you would be falling apart," Jennifer said distractedly.

"It doesn't matter," Kain said. "What is this new creation that Elizavere has set loose? I would imagine that he would be reluctant after our last encounter."

Jennifer set down her scissors. "It's another version of Raziel. What was he like before he grew his wings?"

Kain was mildly shocked at this news. "He is still unquestionably loyal to me." The vampire became lost in thought. Jennifer could not read his emotions very well; Kain's eye ridges gave the impression that he was always angry.

* * *

End Notes: I couldn't find anyplace to put this in the story, (it wasn't flowing right,) but at some point Brightflame explains that the Rainbow Bright doll had given her a jolt that now allows her to move around like a living creature. I know that explaining it myself instead of letting the characters do it is the lazy way out. 


	19. Chapter 19 Confront the Doppleganger

Disclaimer: I don't own Legacy of Kain or any other identifiable pop culture references.

At that moment, Raziel returned. "I didn't find him," he announced. Then he noticed Kain. "What are you doing here?" Raziel asked, his irritation becoming more apparent.

"I was merely seeking a safe haven from my fanatical admirers," Kain drawled. "I don't understand how you manage to stay in one place for so long."

Raziel saw the cloth that Jennifer was pinning together. She explained Kain's illness.

"Once this problem is dealt with, we can go get Elizavere." Kain said.

"Why do you not confront him yourself?" Raziel asked. "And why do you expect me to help you?"

"Haven't you figured that out, Raziel? I dare not face him alone. Just because I was able to resist his influence over me once does not guarantee that I'll be able to do it again." Kain's tone became increasingly agitated as he made his speech.

"This should completely free you from him," Jennifer mumbled around the needle she held in her mouth. "Stupid vampire feet."

"I suppose I'll owe you a debt of gratitude," Kain said disappointedly.

"I don't know about tha-ack." Jennifer gagged as the needle slipped into her tongue.

"Why can't you gain control of the younger Raziel?" Kain asked Jennifer after she had recovered. "You managed to gain some influence over me, and his will should be weaker than the one you already have."

"It's because I'm already bound to Raziel. Part of me knows what would happen if I tried to gain control of that doppelganger, but..." Jennifer took a few panicked breaths before shaking her head, "It would be horrible."

"How did you know what I looked like?" Raziel asked

Jennifer refused to look at Raziel. He gently took her chin and forced her to meet his gaze. "Tell me."

"The game began just before your execution," she said, carefully keeping her voice flat.

A tangible silence fell on the room. The two vampires did not wish to discuss it. Jennifer continued sewing in silence until exhaustion claimed her.

The next day passed quickly enough. Kain fell asleep in the recliner with Brightflame coiled in his lap. Jennifer was now familiar with the pattern, so managed to finish Kain's new body by that evening.

"I hope you survive this," Jennifer told Kain.

As it was with Janos, there was very little ritual. Jennifer laid her hands on the two dolls. Tears spilled down her face as the power grew to painful levels. After a few moments, the power subsided. Jennifer removed the clan drape from the waist of the old doll and clipped it to the shoulder of the new one.

"Did it work?" Raziel asked anxiously.

Jennifer wearily sat on her heels. "We'll know in a moment."

The new Kain doll stirred into life. It examined its claws and asked, "Why can I not transform?"

"Just give it, time, Kain," Jennifer said with relief. "You'll regain your strength."

Raziel scrutinized the damage on Kain's old body. It had continued to rip under Jennifer's light touch. "Won't the same thing happen again?"

"Yes, someday," Jennifer said. "In fact, you might be in danger, Raziel. Will you let me look for damage?"

Raziel reluctantly dropped to his plushy form. Jennifer gently ran her fingers along his seams, checking for weak spots. "You're still good as new."

At that moment, Brightflame leaped to tower over Kain. "You should stay like this."

Kain growled and slashed upward at the dragon. Fortunately, his cloth talons could not do any damage. Brightflame struck him with the back of her paw; she only used enough force to knock him down. She butted the tiny vampire with her muzzle. Brightflame could not open her mouth, but she would've licked Kain if she had a tongue.

Kain suddenly transformed into his full vampire form. He held the dragon around the neck and scowled at her. Kain dropped Brightflame (she wasn't hurt) and turned to Raziel. "Let's go. I've got a score to settle."

The wraith Raziel crossed his arms and stood stone still. "Don't presume to order me."

Kain smiled, "Of course."

Elizavere lived in a run-down apartment. Jennifer had demanded to come along, and so she was waiting in the hallway with Raziel. They were treated to the occasional thump as Kain "questioned" the unfortunate man.

"I almost lost my life to your poor workmanship!" Kain's voice rang out through the door.

The pair could only imagine what was going on. At one point Jennifer found that she didn't want to think about it any more. She heard muffled cries for mercy.

It was then that Kain emerged. "He doesn't know anything."

"Now what?" Raziel spat in outrage.

Jennifer touched his arm comfortingly. "If your doppelganger is still hanging around, he'll turn up eventually."

The two vampires split up in hopes of finding Raziel's double. Jennifer was left to walk home alone through the darkened streets. None of them had expected the Lieutenant to find her.

He slipped out of the shadows and pinned Jennifer against the wall. "I don't know who you are, but I can see that you have met my lord." He traced his talon against the light scars Kain had made in Jennifer's neck.

Jennifer stared into his murderous eyes. They were a much paler yellow than she expected, framed by severe features. Jennifer's fear made her notice every detail. "What do you want?" She asked.

Raziel leered. "I was hunting." He pressed in closer to Jennifer. "Why did he spare your life? Answer me or you will be tonight's meal."

Jennifer scowled. Finally, she could see what Raziel had been like before he was cast into the abyss. This creature was arrogant and malicious. She willed her anger into a form and let the magic flow through her. The vampire let out a howl of pain as he was tossed several yards. Silvery violet energy chased and crackled over his body as he twitched in pain.

Raziel slowly rose to his feet. "You will pay for that," he growled.

Jennifer raised her arms and summoned a globe of energy, waiting for him to try and attack her again.

The wraith Raziel suddenly grabbed the vampire and said, "You will not touch her." He had been a little shocked to hear his own scream echoing from two blocks away. Raziel was unsure of what had happened between Jennifer and his younger version, but he was confident that Jennifer was not the first to attack.

"What are you?" the vampire asked in revulsion.

"I am what you are destined to become," the wraith sneered.

The vampire tried to back away from the horrific features, "Impossible!"

The wraith easily subdued his younger and weaker self. The vampire struggled harder, trying to use his weight to his advantage. The wraith simply kicked his legs out from under him and held him in a kneeling position.

"They're going to kill each other," a girl's voice suddenly rang out. "Stop him."

Jennifer turned to see a redheaded girl running up the street. She was about 5'2", and a scowl twisted her slender face.

The vampire suddenly ceased his struggles. "Kill my mistress. Then I can be free of her," he said. "I'll do the same for you."

"You will not harm Jennifer," Raziel told his younger self, forcing his head towards the pavement.

The two girls confronted each other. "Who are you?" Jennifer demanded.

"My name is Cynthia, and I suggest that you tell your demon to get his hands off of Raziel before he ruins that pretty face," she spat.

"Your vampire was going to kill me," Jennifer shouted. "What right do you have to let him do that?"

"He needs to feed," Cynthia spat. "At least mine doesn't eat a person's soul."

Jennifer's hair billowed around her shoulders, the energy building through her body. She got very close to Cynthia and growled in her face, "My Raziel does not need to feed on souls anymore. Why does yours need blood?"

"Have you told him that he's a doll?" Cynthia whispered.

"You haven't?" Jennifer asked in disgust.

The wraith had hauled the vampire to his feet. The two stood in an uneasy truce as they watched the girls argue about the way they treated their Raziels.

"I think this has gone on long enough," Kain said as he came out of an alleyway. He turned towards Cynthia, "Release him."

Cynthia hesitantly took a step back. "I won't."

"Then you forfeit your life," Kain growled.

"Don't kill her," Jennifer said, her voice betrayed a sense of something important. "Please."

Kain reluctantly turned away from Cynthia. The younger Raziel nodded his head in respect to his sire and said, "My lord, are you a slave to that human as I am to mine?"

"I am no one's slave," Kain sneered, "and you should not be serving anyone but me."

"Forgive me, but she compels me to obey," the Lieutenant said.

"Fight her, Raziel, you have the strength," Kain said, speaking as if he was only telling Raziel to fix his posture.

Cynthia would not admit that she had just lost her creation. "Don't listen to him, kill him."

The Lieutenant shuddered slightly, "I can't."

Cynthia flushed with outrage, "How dare you?"

Lieutenant Raziel winced at her psychic barrage. "He is my Lord."

The wraith suddenly smacked Cynthia across the face. She collapsed on the sidewalk, her concentration broken. "Is there any particular reason for your not wanting to kill her?" Raziel calmly asked Jennifer.

"Yes," Jennifer answered. "I'm afraid that he's going to have to deal with this on his own."

Cynthia sat on the pavement, choking with rage as both Raziels, Kain, and Jennifer slowly walked away from her. She winced as she touched her bruised face, and she swore that soon she would have revenge for her humiliation and loss.

The four of them walked down the street. Kain and Jennifer followed the two Raziels, watching them argue.

"I don't believe you are me," the younger one said. "You are hideous."

"I was dragged through hell and back," the older one insisted angrily.

"They're going to drive each other nuts," Jennifer told Kain.

"They are both my first," Kain said.

Jennifer suspected that Kain was better able to comprehend the situation, or at least he thought he was. Her own mind first believed that they were two different beings, then saw them as one, and then refused to think about it at all. Jennifer rubbed her temples, "They're too similar; they're violating each other's personal identity."

Suddenly, Raziel held his younger self in a headlock. "I am Raziel, upstart."

"Lying fiend!" the vampire answered as he struggled to get lose.

"He is telling the truth," Kain interjected. His expression hardened for a moment. Though Jennifer still had trouble reading Kain's expressions, she recognized that look: it was the one the Kain wore when he ordered Raziel into the Abyss.

Jennifer fought to remain calm as she felt her mind snap. She found that she could no longer think about this situation in any rational manner. "Don't fight anymore," she begged wearily.

"One of us must submit, and it won't be me," the wraith said.

The vampire finally relented. "Who will I be, then?"

Jennifer finally suffered a moment of clarity. "Many people misspell your name as Azrael," she said. "Raziel is the angel who wrote the book of mysteries, and Azrael is the angel of death."

They agreed that the name fit the vampire now better than the wraith. Azrael was upset at losing his name, but he realized that he was the weaker of the two; his options were limited.

Kain refused to be involved in this change, he only acknowledged it after the decision had been made. He could only see the two as equals. Both had shown their devotion in different ways. One was loyal but had never known sacrifice, the other had been pulled from the moment of ultimate sacrifice.


	20. Chapter 20 Azrael

Disclaimer: I don't own Legacy of Kain or any other identifiable pop culture references. Any fake fan-people that I create are not references to real fan-people. I am not intending to step on any real fan-names.

* * *

They eventually got back to Jennifer's apartment. Azrael had stumbled a few times as Cynthia mentally tried to call him back, but his loyalty to Kain was stronger. 

Raziel could not allow this to continue. Azrael still possessed the naivety that had caused so much torment. "Do not trust him," Raziel quietly sneered to his younger self. "You don't know what he's willing to do."

"Do you really expect that words will turn him against me?" Kain sneered.

"You will not use him, Kain," Raziel spat.

Kain visibly bristled, "How dare you imply…"

"Stop it," Jennifer interrupted through clenched teeth. She stood at rigid attention and addressed Kain, "I humbly request a private audience with his Majesty." Her tone was heavily laced with implications.

Seeing that Jennifer was giving him an opportunity to save face, and knowing what humiliations his refusal would bring, Kain reluctantly followed her into the bedroom.

"Raziel deserves his say, without your interference" Jennifer said.

"You hate me, don't you?" Kain asked. "I've seen how some of them still want me dead."

Jennifer took Brightflame off the bed and hugged her for moral support. "I see you as an antagonist, mainly. I came in on the middle of the story, and I saw how Raziel was willing to spare your life before I saw the real reason why he wanted to kill you."

"I don't intend to lose him again," Kain said, speaking of both his sons.

* * *

Azrael stared angrily at his twisted reflection. How could the Master allow this blasphemous creature to live?

Raziel had not bothered to resume his human guise; he was not confident in his ability to maintain it through this stress. "Do you not wonder about this pitiful form I have come to inhabit?"

Azrael took a moment to study the scarred flesh, "Enlighten me."

"Kain sacrificed me on the slim chance that he could save his empire. He ordered me into the abyss." Raziel said, ignoring the pain that came from re-opening old wounds.

"And yet you live," Azrael sneered.

"I did not survive," Raziel insisted, deciding that the Elder God's explanation was the easiest.

"I imagine that your execution had more to do with that insolent tongue," Azrael sneered.

"I could not prevent my transgression," Raziel said sadly, lifting the tattered remains of his left wing. He realized that it was the pain of the abyss that fueled his anger towards Kain, and that Azrael would not be swayed by mere words. Still, he had to know. "My clan would have inherited this gift, but Kain decimated them."

Azrael was silent as this information sunk in. Eventually, he asked, "Did my brothers meet similar fates?"

"They were allowed to evolve, but they became grotesque." Raziel said. "Then they fell to my vengeance."

"Fratricide," Azrael hissed.

"He needed their strength," Kain said as he walked back into the room, "just as I needed his anger."

Azrael grew despondent. Surely his Master had gone mad. Finally, he spoke. "My Lord, if you are not under the control of a human, why do you not rule this place?"

"This world does not belong to us," Kain said sternly. "I suggest that you forget the empire."

Azrael clenched his jaw, furiously holding back an outburst that would surely earn him a harsh reprimand.

Kain saw Azrael's response. "Nosgoth is nothing more than a fantasy to these people." He yanked Blood Omen off the shelf and tossed it to Jennifer. "Show him."

Jennifer inserted the game into the PS2 and gave Kain a questioning stare as if to say, 'Are you sure about this?'

Kain correctly guessed at her question and said, "It's worse when you don't know."

Jennifer started the game, but decided to watch the other's reactions instead of the FMV. Kain seemed to be interested, but not surprised. He must have seen the game before. Jennifer was glad at this; she had once played through to the pillars. At least Kain could not blame her poor combat skills for losing the first battle.

Azrael's face was a mask of confusion that slowly dissolved into grim understanding, but Raziel's reaction was the best. He had seen original playstation games before, but never one this old. His eyebrows were twisted to their limit in some strange but unreadable expression at the quality of the graphics.

Jennifer avoided the heart of darkness cards and quickly played straight to the part where Kain killed the assassins. Her nerves jangled as Mortainius spoke in the Squid's voice. At least, that was the image that she got. "Do you hear that?" she asked the vampires.

"You know that's Mortainius," Kain said as if he were speaking to an imbecile.

"Are you feeling okay, Jennifer?" Raziel asked in concern.

"I'm fine," Jennifer insisted. Obviously they couldn't hear that the voice was wrong. Both of them had heard the voice of the squid, and Raziel had talked to the other version of Mortainius. She reminded herself that sanity was submitting to the perceptions of the majority.

Kain turned to Azrael. "Do you understand? We are nothing more than images, playthings for the humans of this world." He forced Azrael to meet his gaze. "Even our bodies are illusions here, as is our hunger."

Azrael had been shocked into silence during the first minutes of the game. He nodded, not trusting his voice to remain strong. His Lord had betrayed him by giving up. Even with their world reduced to a fantasy, they were still strong enough to rule this one.

Kain had taken Jennifer aside to discuss something with her. The girl's manner was reserved; she demonstrated only hints of the respect required when dealing with an emperor, yet Kain tolerated it.

Then there was his future incarnation. Yes, he had proven that he was stronger, but he had no right to the name. Emotionally, he was weak. Azrael had seen the concern that the wraith had shown for the human that had enslaved him. Azrael addressed his older self, "Why do you care about her?"

"I saw the way Cynthia treated you. Jennifer actually seems to care how I feel." Raziel said. "Besides, I've learned an interesting skill while under her care." He finally felt that he was calm enough to trust his human form.

Azrael drew back in surprise. "You look like a human," he snarled.

"I've been many things," Raziel said. "This is simply a form of convenience."

Kain disappeared on some strange errand, while Jennifer succumbed to the need for sleep. Raziel spent the day telling Azrael about the things that he learned while adventuring through Nosgoth's past. 

.


	21. Chapter 21

Kain was concerned that Azrael would suffer the same debilitations that he had gained from Elizavere's lack of sewing skills. There was no way to force him into his true form, and Azrael could not manage the transformation on his own. He still doubted that he really was a doll.

Finally, Brightflame gazed at Azrael and declared, "I can see through his illusion. He'll last for a very long time."

Azrael finally found that his hunger had faded through the day. He wasn't completely glad. He did enjoy the hunt, but he had also felt a slight revulsion at the need that drove him to it. Now, there wasn't any reason for killing.

Some offhand insult sparked another argument between Raziel and Azrael. The two grappled briefly. 

"Hey!" Jennifer yelled. The pair turned towards her. She was holding a pitcher of water, fully prepared to fling its contents at them. They reluctantly let go of each other, and Jennifer set down the jug with enough force to make the water jump.

"She was going to burn us both," Azrael muttered in astonishment.

Raziel plunged one arm into the jug and then showed it to his twin. "I'm not affected by water." He paused to consider their natures as stuffed toys. "You shouldn't be, either." Raziel wiped his dripping hand against Azrael's arm.

The other hissed in anger and drew his arm away. He wiped the water away quickly, but there was no damage. "How dare you try something like that?" Azrael yelled, not caring that he had just learned that water was no longer a limitation.

"Take it outside," Jennifer shouted, now knowing that it was pointless to try and stop them from fighting. They both vaulted over the balcony railing.

"Princess of Apostates has agreed to take care of him if I grant her a favor," Kain wearily muttered to Jennifer as he watched his two sons wrestle. 

"This place is just to small to keep them both, especially if they insist on fighting like that," Jennifer said. She knew just what sort of 'favor' this particular fan girl would want from Kain. She trusted the wisdom of his choice. With his many wanderings, he would know best who could take care of Azrael. The princess favored Kain, but Azrael was in no condition to be subject to the advances of his own fans. Hopefully that could change in time.

"I suppose it is the least I can do for them," Kain said in disappointment.

"Is it really that bad?" Jennifer asked curiously.

"I find such distractions a waste of time, especially with a human." Kain spoke as if it were debase, an act of bestiality.

"What don't you want to be distracted from?" Jennifer asked.

The former emperor bared his fangs in warning as he sneered, "Nothing."

Jennifer decided to change the subject. "I also require a favor of you, Kain," she said formally.

"What make you think you have the right?" Kain asked.

"I saved your life," Jennifer said. At Kain's acknowledgment, she continued. "I could've watched you die, but I didn't. I'm now partly responsible for what you do in this world. Don't make me regret my choice."

Kain chuckled softly, "I suppose I could try to grant your request."

Jennifer was a bit confused by Kain's gracious attitude. Was he really as 'heartless' as she had believed, or was this change something else entirely? She briefly wondered if this was because he was now cleansed of his corruption.

Kain and Azrael left that evening. Raziel made some standard threats to Kain about Azrael's well-being. Kain gave up on reassuring Raziel that such threats were useless.

* * *

Several hours later, Raziel was still pensive. "I see now what you meant about taking me when my personality was at it's best, but that says nothing about my body." 

"Don't torture yourself like this, Raziel," Jennifer said sadly.

"I would not blame you if you need to seek your comforts elsewhere," Raziel said.

"It's not as much fun when it's meaningless," Jennifer answered.

"Still, it must be hard that I can't…" he couldn't continue. It would be easier to accept if he was the only one suffering from his inabilities.

"No harder than it must be for you," Jennifer insisted. She became lost in thought for a few moments; then asked, "How much do you trust me, Raziel?"

Raziel did not answer. The silence hung in the air as he searched Jennifer's attitude for the reason behind her question.

"How much do you trust me?" Jennifer asked again as she caressed his face. She had not dared to try this before, fearful of how Raziel would react. Again, she found herself at that precarious point where she risked losing him.

Raziel felt Jennifer's mind resting against the surface of his own. He did not know what she was trying to do. He did not allow Jennifer into his mind, but he found he could let part of his awareness slip into hers. Raziel could see that Jennifer genuinely wanted nothing more than for him to be happy.

Raziel was consumed by an overwhelming sadness. When Jennifer had first shown him that she didn't feel revulsion for his form, he did not truly understand. Her mind did contain fluttering doubts buried deep beneath the surface, but Raziel could see these only as proof that she did recognize that he was once a revenge-crazed murderer. He felt ashamed that he could not possess the trust necessary to let her behind his own defenses, only into the surface.

Raziel withdrew into himself and found that Jennifer was crying. He gently wiped away a tear. "I'm sorry that I hurt you."

"I cry for your sadness," Jennifer said as she gently kissed his lingering fingers; they were still damp from her tears.

Raziel finally understood what she was trying to do. He kissed Jennifer gently at first, and then more passionately. He felt her sensations reflected back to him. Raziel spent some time simply kissing Jennifer and stroking his hands over her body; he found some spots that were very ticklish.

When he finally became earnest in his manipulations, Raziel quickly lost control of his form. That didn't matter anymore; he had found a use for his claws that had nothing to do with destruction. This was good enough for both of them.

A/N: I really should write the more detailed versions of these encounters. I don't want to up my rating level any more, so I'm not being graphic here. 

I do need a feedback at this point. Who is still eager to see this thing end? I've got another twist in mind, but it will take a couple of chapters to get to and a ton of chapters to unravel. Even if I cut that twist, it's still going to take a while to wrap this up.


	22. Chapter 22 Another conversation with Jan...

Raziel and Jennifer settled into a normal pattern of life. Well, it was as normal as was possible for a supernatural creature and a mage.

Jennifer kept track of Kain through the online boards. Each comment brought a new round of insults about the poster's grip on reality. This brought retorts from the people who had actually met Kain and believed in the news stories about Janos. Jennifer did not feel the need to add her voice to the argument, it was more important to preserve Raziel's privacy.

Azrael had disappeared at some point. Jennifer was a bit worried at this, especially since she saw signs that Kain was also trying to find the lost vampire. Jennifer imagined that perhaps Azrael had found someone who was just as unwilling to expose his location as she was. She was thankful that there was no bad news that indicated his situation.

Janos and Raziel sat on Jennifer's balcony. Janos was perched on a tall stool. He found it was the more comfortable than any other seat Jennifer had because it allowed him to hold his wings in a relaxed pose without damaging his feathers. Raziel had the luxury of normal patio furniture. Currently, Janos was teaching Raziel the finer points of a strategy game that the ancient vampires had enjoyed; it resembled checkers, except that it involved the six elements.

"Your mind is not on the game," Janos said gently.

Raziel had been distractedly fiddling with a piece that was marked with the elemental symbol for fire. "My mind is on a game, just not this one," he confessed. He was thinking back to what Kain had said about how not knowing was worse. Janos seemed to have recovered from the latest blow to his beliefs; perhaps it was finally time to tell him the truth.

"What is the matter?" Janos asked in concern.

Raziel struggled with the gravity of what he was preparing to say. He stared Janos straight in the eye and said, "Nosgoth doesn't really exist."

Janos did not say anything; his face clouded over in confusion.

"Until the moment we arrived here, our lives were nothing more than a fantasy," Raziel continued.

Janos silently scoffed, "There is no possible way that the richness of Nosgoth's existence could be a mere fantasy."

"No, it's true," Raziel said. "Jennifer has the proof."

Janos slowly slipped off of his seat and said gently, "Very well, show me this proof."

Raziel led Janos back into the apartment. Jennifer was sitting on the couch and working on a mental agility exercise. Her breathing was measured as she controlled three spheres of magical energy, each one playing out a different part of a song. Raziel lightly brushed his hand against one of the spheres, disrupting its melody. Jennifer's eyes snapped open. The spheres jangled discordantly, but did not dissipate. She looked at the two former bloodsuckers for a moment, and then let the spheres fade away.

"I want you to show him the game," Raziel said.

Jennifer stuck the disk into the machine and called up the saved game. She did not offer Raziel the controller; she knew his sentiments about playing himself. It was the part of Soul Reaver 2 where Raziel was about to re-enter the Seraphan stronghold for the last time. Instead of going out across the frozen lake, she turned the miniature avatar back in the wrong direction.

"Do you see now, Janos?" Raziel asked.

Janos Audron was strangely calm for someone whose very reality was being challenged. "We have ways of making images that are much more realistic than this," he said. "Did you really fall for this crude portrayal?"

Raziel was speechless. He was aware of the limitations of the PS2, and how the graphics would only be a representation of what he remembered experiencing, but this was his life.

"I think that whoever made this is aware of Nosgoth, but we are not fantasy," Janos said, waving his hand dismissively at the screen.

"Can you be so sure?" Raziel asked. He wasn't sure himself, but it wasn't so disturbing to think that his problems stemmed from the imagination of a sick mind.

Jennifer fiddled with the controller. She was toying with the idea of showing them the voice actors, but decided against it. She had seen the slippery nature of their reality when Kain and Raziel couldn't hear that the same actor did the voice of both the original Mortainus and the Squid. Janos would probably not be able to hear his own voice coming out of a human's mouth, and even if Raziel accepted his actor, he probably would be disturbed to see how old the guy was.

"Don't bother with reality," Brightflame suddenly said. She had been napping on top of the bookcase, but now she spread her wings and leapt. The little dragon didn't have the power to defy the laws of physics anymore, so instead of gently gliding down, she landed with an undignified 'poof.'

"What's this?" Janos asked, picking the dragon up off the floor and cradling her like a child.

"Brightflame is a plushy," Jennifer said.

Janos gently stroked Brightflame's cloth hide, fascinated with her appearance.

Raziel hoped that Janos would believe this next bit of news. It was more important than whether or not Nosgoth really existed. "We are also plushies," Raziel said.

Janos pulled his gaze away from Brightflame and stared at Raziel. "I can see that we are flesh," Janos insisted.

"It's just an illusion," Raziel said, sitting in the recliner. He shifted to his wraith form for a moment, then dropped to his plush form."

Janos backed away involuntarily. "But you can change your appearance at will," he said hesitantly.

"This has been my true form ever since I was brought here," Raziel said, standing up on the cushion of the recliner. "The illusion is the reason why I could gain a less grotesque appearance."

"I am flesh," Janos insisted, but it sounded like he was only trying to reassure himself.

"Don't make me prove that you aren't," Jennifer said quietly.

"No," Brightflame told Jennifer. "Allow me."

The little dragon gazed into Janos' eyes. He pulled his attention away from her and looked at his own talon. He saw that what he thought was his body was truly only a shadow, and he became aware of the cloth that he was made of. The angel gasped in shock and dropped Brightflame. Janos ran out onto the balcony, but Raziel grabbed him in a bear hug and held him from flying away.

Janos did not struggle, but his body shuddered with his panicked wheezing. Raziel winced as he felt some of Janos' feathers shred against his arm, but he didn't dare let go of his hysterical friend. They crouched on the balcony in that embrace until Janos' breathing slowed and he calmed down.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner," Raziel said as he released Janos. "We were afraid of how you would react."

"I would have killed myself," Janos said stonily. He was on his knees and huddled against his disturbed emotions.

Raziel sighed sadly. He wondered if he had still waited too long, or not long enough.

"I have made a life for myself here," Janos said, the strength returning to his voice. "I cannot simply abandon it now."

"There is no reason why you can't continue living as you have been," Raziel said, relieved that Janos seemed to be regaining his senses.

They both stood and walked into the apartment again. Jennifer's question shone clearly on her face; Raziel answered it with a nod. Janos distractedly straightened his ruffled feathers while Jennifer and Raziel took turns answering his questions about plushy existence.

Janos' emotional outburst had exhausted him. He had been hunched over in one of the low dining room chairs, but his forehead sunk to his knees and he fell asleep. Raziel gently lowered Janos to the floor and stretched him in a more comfortable position.

Raziel spent the entire night in silent vigil over Janos. The angel was peacefully curled up in sleep, having twisted into a comfortable position sometime in the night. Raziel still could not help but think of those times when he had seen Janos lying in death, the gaping hole in his chest that Raziel had made when he ripped out his heart. Though that was many lifetimes ago, and he couldn't remember doing it, Raziel was still haunted by it. 

Janos woke up slowly. At first, he couldn't remember why he had been sleeping on Jennifer's floor, but then his thoughts came into focus. He levered himself up and saw that Raziel had been watching over him. "You didn't sleep at all?" Janos asked quietly.

"Sleep is optional for me," Raziel said. "How are you feeling?"

Janos stretched against his stiff muscles. "I feel perfectly ordinary."

"You're not going to kill yourself," Raziel said it as a statement, but he felt like it was a question.

"I told you, I have a life here," Janos said, his voice taking a slight edge of impatience. He paused to calm himself. "I refuse to keep living forever. Once I again start losing those that I know, I will follow them into death."

Raziel accepted this. He had only just begun to appreciate the weariness that could come from an endless existence when he was pulled into a life that made him forget that.

"It's my fault that you're here," Raziel said. "I asked her to do it."

"I'll only forgive you if you stop talking about it," Janos said in mild irritation.

Raziel was hurt by Janos' attitude. He recognized what Janos was trying to do; silence will make it go away. That did not work for the Hylden, and it would certainly not work in this case either. Still, he could see that any argument would make the small rift between them widen.

"Fine," Raziel finally said.

"I must be going now," Janos said. "I am supposed to meet Diana for morning tea."

Raziel's mood lifted. "Of course. Give her my regards when you see her," he said. Both of them knew that the fortuneteller was a charlatan, but she was still good as a stabilizing force in Janos' life. She knew how to listen and give practical advice.

Disclaimer: I mean no offense to the real people that think they might have been mentioned in this chapter. I especially mean no offense to the healthy and brilliant mind that is responsible for Raziel's existence. LOK and any popular culture references made in this fic are still the property of whoever owns them.

A/N: Who is Diana? Obviously one of Janos' friends.


	23. Chapter 23 Roadtrip

Time went by. Not only did Janos recover from the shock of learning that his body was cloth, but he seemed to completely forget about it. Janos' elemental checkers had been knocked off the balcony in the struggle, and some of the pieces never were found. Jennifer had been able to make a better-looking set with Raziel's help, but it wasn't necessary as a peace offering. The friendship between Janos and Raziel had not suffered too greatly from the incident.

Raziel promised Jennifer that he would go with her to a fantasy convention only if Janos was in good health. Since the odd delusion Janos had about still being completely flesh didn't count, there was no good reason to stop them from going.

Jennifer rented a car so they could drive to the convention. She was a little rusty, and lucky that she hadn't let her license expire. Raziel was still disturbed by her driving style, even after she had announced, "Okay, now I remember."

The drive took several hours, and was relatively uneventful save for becoming severely lost in the mountains. Jennifer stopped the car and got out to look around. "If I could just figure out where here is," she muttered.

"If I knew you were capable of becoming this disoriented, I would've taken more time to study the map," Raziel said in irritation. "I thought you knew where you were going."

"We're going to the convention," Jennifer said, totally ignoring Raziel's meaning. She glanced up at the mountainside behind her. "I bet that if I was up higher, I could get my bearings."

The climb was steep, but not too difficult in the deepening twilight. They stood for a long time while Jennifer tried to identify the twinkling communities laid out below. "It's pretty," she murmured.

"But do you know where we are?" Raziel asked.

"I think we're going in the right direction," she said at last.

On the way back down, Jennifer had the misfortune to step on a loose stone. She cried out as she fell over the steep edge of the mountain. Even as he pitched himself over the cliff, Raziel knew that it was impossible to glide with her in his arms. There was only one way that he could save Jennifer.   
  
Raziel willed his wings to once again be whole, desperately casting aside the memory of their destruction. Elegant bones stretched the skin out to catch the air. He caught Jennifer and held her to him as he glided down to firmer ground.

Now that the crisis was over, Raziel again remembered the pain of Kain ripping the bones from his back. Those same bones now twitched in response to his struggle to keep them from disappearing. He was determined not to lose his wings again.

Jennifer barely dared to breathe while Raziel was fighting with his emotions. There was still enough light to see the uneven splotches of blue chasing over his skin. She saw that Raziel was losing the battle.

"Are you going to let him rule you forever?" Jennifer demanded.

Raziel's eyes burned with rage and balefire. "No," he growled through gritted teeth. He wearily collapsed to his hands and knees, but he refused to give in. He shuddered once more as he finally settled into his accomplishment. A triumphant smile spread across Raziel's face as he flexed his newly restored wings.

"You did it," Jennifer whispered happily.

Raziel could only nod wearily. He remembered something about moments of desperation. Truly, that's what it had taken for him to regain his lost wings. He sat quietly, admiring the way they felt on his back.

After a long silence, Raziel finally spoke. "When I first emerged from the state of change, I was confused. I didn't know what to make of my new gift, or the honor of surpassing my master. I hoped that he would know what it meant." He paused to reflect. "I feared that Kain might be angry, but I never imagined…" Raziel let the sentence fall incomplete. "I was just beginning to think that I was safe when he did it."

Jennifer touched Raziel's forearm in a comforting gesture, believing that a hug would make him too nervous. "He can't hurt you anymore," she whispered.

When they finally decided that it was time to get on the road again, Raziel discovered that flying wasn't as easy as it looked. He did not have an opportunity to try it before. It was only through blind strength and determination that he was able to rise, and he could not do it with Jennifer's weight. Instead, he was forced to guide her back to the car on foot.

Raziel was again faced with a challenge as he was forced to fold his wings completely in order to get into the car. He could barely remember how he had managed it before, and it had taken the help of his two most trusted children to figure it out. He unsuccessfully tried it by himself, accidentally snagging the sharp bone of his right wing in the tender skin of his left.

"Hold still," Jennifer said as she gingerly unhooked his wing. She stood close, but only watched to see if Raziel would need any further aid. He had twitched away from her helping hand.

Once the first one was securely folded, the other followed easily. Raziel could see that there would be no possible way for him to fold or unfold his wings simultaneously. Still, he could see the advantages in such a complex design.

They had decided to continue on to the convention, and made it to the proper building in the dead of night. Jennifer had never planned to stay in a hotel, instead opting to sleep in the car. Raziel had been planning to spend the night exploring, but now he could do it by air.

After two hours, Raziel still was not soaring. He felt more like a drunken chicken than anything that rightly belonged in the air. He hollered in frustration as a muscle cramp forced him to the ground. Raziel gloomily thought of the possibility that he was never meant to do anything more than glide. Irony was cruel.

Raziel was a bit overwhelmed by the convention crowd. Some of them were dressed oddly, but it was simply the volume of people that got to him. He did not like the idea, but he conceded to letting his wings fade while he was here. He was sure that only vampiric strength could break them, but he still didn't want to risk them getting damaged in the crowd. Jennifer tapped Raziel's arm, "Do you see that guy over there?" 

Raziel nonchalantly looked in the direction she indicated. "Are you talking about the one who's got Turel's mark on his jacket?"

Jennifer grinned. "That is the biggest fan that your story has. He's the one who keeps track of the forgotten histories."

Raziel widened his eyes in surprise. "What do you think he would do if I approached?"

"It's hard to tell," Jennifer mused, "but be careful about how many people see you go wraith. You're too skinny to be some guy in a costume."

"I'm always careful," Raziel said as he wandered after the fan in question.

"Yeah right," Jennifer muttered under her breath, knowing that care was a very new skill for Raziel.

Several hours later, they found each other again despite the crowd. "Did you know that it's no coincidence that we're all named after angels?" Raziel asked.

"I heard something about it once," Jennifer said.

"That guy knows everything that never happened," Raziel said in wonderment.

"I told you so," Jennifer said smugly.

"I hope you didn't get bored while waiting for me," Raziel said.

"You would've gotten bored if you stuck with me," Jennifer said. "I met up with someone and we got into the subject of custom plushies. This guy wants a bunch of D&D monsters to sell in his shop."

"Are you sure that's wise?" Raziel asked.

"Dead things only," Jennifer assured him. "Besides, I prefer sewing to working as a temporary secretary."

Surprisingly enough, absolutely nothing interesting happened when they drove home in the evening. 

A/N: I feel like this chapter wasn't one of my best efforts, despite the amount of effort it took. Oh well, I felt that these things were necessary, and it was a choice between doing it this way, or having the characters remember it without having it described anywhere. Hey look, Raziel has his wings back.

A/N: Jennifer has always been a temporary secretary. That's how she can make a living, yet still have the irregular schedule that I've put her through. I just didn't find a place to mention it before now.

A/N: That guy with Turel's mark on his jacket is supposed to be a parody of the real greatest fan that LOK has, Ben Lincoln. He owns himself and and thelostworlds. Ironically enough, I have a whole deleted chunk of story that has more of him.


	24. Chapter 24 Flight and Fighting

Disclaimer: I don't own Legacy of Kain or any other identifiable pop culture references.

Janos had hung a rope ladder over the side of his tower to preserve the brickwork from Raziel's claws. Raziel found some small amusement at seeing it, as he would never need it again. He still did not soar, but he did manage to gain enough altitude to serenely glide into Janos' tower.

"I had wondered why you could restore yourself, but did not do so completely." Janos said.

"It wasn't that simple," Raziel answered.

"I saw you coming," Janos said sternly. "You treat the wind as something that can be conquered."

Raziel shrugged, admitting his ignorance.

"Follow me," Janos continued. "It is unseemly to have you thrashing around like that."

Janos leapt from the tower and hovered in the air. Raziel did his best, but even through his exertion he could see the angel wince in sympathetic embarrassment. Janos explained through example how to catch updrafts and use the breezes to his advantage. It turned out that Janos could see the currents as slight distortions in the air. Raziel was fortunate that the skin along his wings was so sensitive; it allowed him to feel what he could not see.

After an hour of shadowing Janos, Raziel found himself hanging off the ledge of a building in exhaustion. He could now fly gracefully, but his muscles were sore from unfamiliar effort. Raziel pulled his wings against his body to relieve the ache.

"I think you've done enough for one day," Janos said as he balanced on an updraft.

Raziel did not object as Janos teleported both of them back to his tower. He did object when Janos tried to rub his abused muscles.

"Please," Raziel said, squirming away from Janos' talons, "Don't touch me."

Janos could see that Raziel had two hand-shaped marks near the wrists of his wings. He could only assume what Raziel had been through, and why he was so afraid. "Let me do this, Raziel. I doubt that your recuperative powers could deal with these strains," Janos implored.

Raziel reluctantly lay facedown on Janos' bed. Though the memories of his execution no longer caused him to lose control of his form, Raziel still had to fight against the urge to shove Janos away. Because of the different arrangements of their flight muscles, it took Janos a while to find the right spot. He gently but firmly kneaded the knots out of Raziel's back.

As he did this, Janos reflected on what he expected his messiah to be. He had been confused when Raziel had come through the interior of his retreat instead of flying directly to the balcony. The reason was clear the moment Janos saw Raziel for the first time. Janos could not bear to imagine what it must be like to live with damaged wings.   
  
Janos could see the misery etched into Raziel's restored face, how he clutched at the sheets in the grip of a painful memory. Janos hoped that someday Raziel would be able to tell him what he had been through.

When Janos was finished, Raziel sat up slowly. His breathing was shaky, even though it still was not necessary.

"Shall I make us some tea?" Janos offered.

Raziel nodded quickly. As odd as it sounded, caffeine had a tendency to soothe jangled nerves. He stood and folded his wings, tucking them between his shoulder blades.

They spoke of inconsequential things as they sipped at the tea. Raziel related stories about how scary Jennifer's driving was. Janos chuckled at this; he didn't remember getting hit by the car, so it didn't bother him.

When Raziel decided that it was time to leave, he decided to go ahead and use a transport spell. He had known how to do it for a while, but he still wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea. The tea had done its job to revive him, but Raziel was still too tired to fly or even walk back.

* * *

An uneventful week went by. Late one evening, Janos teleported onto Jennifer's balcony. He was in the company of a strangely submissive Azrael.

"I found this vampire making trouble in the bad part of town. He seems familiar," Janos said, scrutinizing Azrael's talons.

"He's from Nosgoth," Jennifer confirmed. "This might sound strange, but he's a younger version of Raziel."

"This menace is Raziel?" Janos asked, studying the eyes of his captive. Between the scarring of the abyss and Raziel's inventiveness when he regained a handsome appearance, it was hard to see the resemblance.

"He goes by the name of Azrael now, or he should be," Raziel said as he wandered into the room.

"I thought you said that there was no more bloodcurse, but he was on the hunt," Janos said.

Raziel addressed Azrael with a sneer. "Explain yourself, you know that you don't need blood."

Azrael's face was contorted in a vicious scowl. "When I left here, the hunger returned."

Raziel thought about this for a moment. He remembered when Jennifer decided to take a two-day assignment in another town from her temp agency. The busses ran in such a way that it was easier for her to stay there instead of coming home. Raziel had felt hungry the night that she was gone, but he felt better after eating a can of ravioli. Janos still ate as well, but that could just be for pleasure. Azrael was still tied to his vampiric nature; of course he would turn to blood.

Raziel decided to let the matter rest for the moment. Instead, he asked, "Where have you been?"

"I don't see how that is any concern of yours," Azrael spat.

Raziel smirked. Obviously, Azrael had forgotten who was stronger here. Seeing that his former self was tense with pent-up indignation, Raziel decided to annoy him with the friendly approach. "Come on, we'll have a cup of coffee and you can tell me all about it," Raziel said, wrapping his arm around Azrael's shoulders.

Janos and Jennifer had been watching the exchange in silence, but now Janos muttered, "The voice is the same, but it is still hard to believe. How is this possible?"

"I'm not the only one with the power to summon vampires," Jennifer said. She knew about Janos' aversion to being reminded about the details of his existence here, so she simplified her explanation. "Someone else pulled Raziel from a different moment in time, it's possible only because what happens here doesn't affect Nosgoth."

They were both startled by a loud thud from the kitchen, followed by shouting. "This is not the empire!" Raziel had slammed Azrael's head against the counter, hoping that it would drive the point home.

Janos was somewhat confused by the rough treatment. "I would expect Raziel to show a little sympathy towards himself."

Jennifer stopped herself from answering. She had been about to mention how the sarafan had gotten reaved. If Janos didn't know about it, then it was up to Raziel to tell him. Jennifer simply patted Janos' arm reassuringly.

Fortunately, that minor scuffle was enough to convince Azrael that he should play nice for a while. He sat calmly and participated in polite conversation. It turned out that Azrael had wandered aimlessly for a while, and then joined a motorcycle gang. His oversized boots and leather clothing certainly reinforced that idea.

After Janos had left and Jennifer went to sleep, Raziel convinced Azrael to try playing a video game. Jennifer's collection included a multi-player combat game called Barbarian. After several minutes of losing, Azrael complained that he didn't have enough fingers to use the controller.

Raziel smirked. He didn't have any trouble back when he only had three fingers. Still, if that was the excuse that Azrael was going to use, then Raziel would delight in proving him wrong. He dropped into his wraith form and waggled his claws at Azrael before pasting him some more.

"This is a stupid waste of time," Azrael growled.

"Of course it's a waste of time. That's what it's for," Raziel said, gently tossing the controller aside. "As for stupid… Yeah, I agree with you on that." He decided that this was one of the worst games that Jennifer had randomly bought.

"How do you tolerate this life?" Azrael asked in frustration. "You've grown soft and comfortable."

"I guess this proves that we really aren't the same person anymore," Raziel said.

* * *

End notes: I had a really tough time writing Janos' reaction to Raziel's clumsiness in the air. I felt that the angel would be really embarrassed, but I had trouble showing it because I don't think Janos would react by teasing Raziel.

Another note: I think the worst part about facing Azrael vs. Raziel is that I have trouble spelling Azrael, and I keep forgetting which one I'm trying to type.


	25. Chapter 25 End

Disclaimer: I don't own Legacy of Kain or any other identifiable pop culture references.

* * *

Jennifer rose early the next morning. Raziel was aware of her sleeping habits, and knew that it was strange for her to be awake at this hour.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I was just dreaming badly," Jennifer said, sipping at a cup of coffee. "Sometimes I become convinced that my nightmares are real and can actually hurt me. I kept jarring awake, and it's not worth it to try and stay asleep when that happens."

"Your fears may not be unfounded," Raziel said gravely. "He likes being a vampire."

"What are you going to do, then?" Jennifer asked.

"I don't know," Raziel said. "I still don't want to kill him, but he is dangerous. I certainly don't want him here; he might decide to go after you."

Jennifer pursed her lips in thought. She knew that she couldn't keep defending herself if Azrael was determined to hurt her; she would eventually make some fatal slip. "Maybe it's time to ask for some advice?" She finally suggested.

Raziel nodded soberly and dialed Janos' number. He was glad that one of Janos' acquaintances had given him a cell phone; it meant that Raziel didn't have to leave Jennifer alone with his bloodthirsty twin. Raziel briefly described his predicament.

"Perhaps it is best if I take him in," Janos answered. "I think that with a bit of time, I could set him straight."

When Janos came to take Azrael back to his tower, Raziel asked him, "Are you sure that this is a good idea?"

"Are you concerned for my safety, Raziel?" Janos asked, chuckling slightly. "I fear that you underestimate me."

Raziel had to remind himself that Janos was far more capable than he appeared. Furthermore, Azrael did not seem to have the slightest interest in attacking Janos. It was weird, but Azrael instead seemed to be in awe of the ancient vampire.

Later, Raziel was still pensive. He stood on the balcony, staring into his own thoughts.

"Come on, Raziel, you need to relax," Jennifer said.

"I don't need to do anything," Raziel said, mocking a haughty tone.

"Nope, you don't," Jennifer said, picking up on Raziel's very weird mood, and knowing that any argument would only lead to more arguing.

After a long silence, Jennifer asked, "So, are you willing to relax?"

Raziel snickered against his chest, "You're not going to give up, are you?"

"Not this time," Jennifer said smugly. "I've got just the thing."

After a quick trip to the import store for picnic supplies, Jennifer and Raziel got off the bus at the local arboretum.

"Is this the sort of tree museum that song was about?" Raziel asked.

"Who knows? Songwriters are strange people." Jennifer giggled as she slipped their entrance fee into the collection box.

The pair picked a random path and began walking. Raziel jumped as something small went crashing through the bushes.

"Relax, Raziel," Jennifer said, "You're the most dangerous creature here, and I count as the second."

Raziel stared intently at the spot where he had heard the noise. "There's so much life here it's hard to believe. It's so much different than the world I lived in."

They came out of the forest and stared out over a meadow. Small birds and insects flew over the tall grasses and wildflowers. Jennifer stared with a newfound appreciation that was encouraged by Raziel's reflections on a dead world. The two settled in the shade at the edge of the meadow and began nibbling at the food that Jennifer brought.

"It's amazing how experiences can change a person," Raziel mused as he patiently waited for a wasp to finish taking a bite out of his sandwich.

"What are you talking about?" Jennifer asked cheerfully, well aware that Raziel could be talking about almost anything.

"I kind of regret killing my brothers," Raziel said casually. "We weren't exactly what you'd call close, but we did have each other's respect." He paused a moment, remembering. "At least we did at first."

Jennifer laced her arm around Raziel's shoulders, careful to stay clear of his wings. "How do you feel about Azrael?"

"We aren't the same person anymore," Raziel said. "I don't know exactly what to make of him now."

"He's family," Jennifer said, letting in the subtle hint that it was only a suggestion.

"As long as I don't have to kill him," Raziel said.

Suddenly, Raziel noticed a flash of silver in Jennifer's dark hair. He stroked his fingers along her scalp and found several light strands. "You're going gray," he remarked.

Jennifer batted his hand away and said, "I've been getting those since I was fourteen," she said in reproach. "I'll get about a dozen of them at a time, but they fall out easier than the rest."

"Still, you're growing old," Raziel said. "I don't know for sure, but I probably won't."

"It's either grow old or die young," Jennifer said fatalistically.

Raziel turned away sadly, "I don't want that to happen."

"Raziel, you can drag me into darkness if you cannot bear it alone," Jennifer said, knowing that he no longer had the power to make vampires, but would have to ask another to do it for him.

Raziel knew what she meant, but he said, "I couldn't. I would rather follow you into oblivion."

They both sat in comfortable silence for a while, watching the sun set over the meadow. Somehow, they knew, everything was going to be all right.

* * *

A/N: And they lived happily ever after.

Let's see, lose ends…Kain is still wandering around, (there are enough 'Kain mysteriously showing up in a fan kid's home' stories floating around to account for his presence,) and he does hear about Azrael's situation. Janos does manage to hold onto Azrael, (gotta love ward-gates that keep people from leaving,) but I don't yet know what's going to come out of that situation. As for Janos' friends… I think I could do a "Random Adventures in the Razzy Plush Reality," being as I left some nice big gaps of missing time, though I'm not promising anything.

Okay, final review acknowledgements and explanations.

A lot of you seemed to be worried that I was just going to abandon this without finding a stopping point. As it is, I've decided to find a place to land and take care of the other twists in a sequel. Though the problem is that I've got to get a stopped story going again. I had some trouble getting it running, but I'll post it once I'm sure I can keep it spinning and find a title for it. If I can't get it stabilized, then this is the end.

Tom T. Thomson: Thanks for adding your voice to the opinion.

Abbil: I'm honored to be on your list.

Rose Likes Chicken: Thanks for the compliment.

Lunatic Pandora: I value your observations. I do think about what you say, even when I stick with my first instincts.

Phoenix: Thanks for the encouragement.

Sephiroth Hates You: Wow, sugar makes you hyper.

Za: You're not always wrong, just sometimes. You identify the most predictable path, but I'm trying to stay away from it. That and sometimes I go in a different direction just to spite you. (I'm kidding.) Btw, Jennifer never had control over Azrael; it's just that she's always in the company of someone who's more powerful than him.

Varewulf: Your comments have always been the most thought provoking for some reason. There's too much to reply to here, especially since I think the story might've eventually answered most of your questions. I do think it would be a good exercise for you to try a calm moment if you don't normally do that.


End file.
